Blah etc. and everything else

I remember when I first started blogging, I came across a blog that had five statements to five people. These statements were addressed to anonymous people, so the girl just shot off all her sentiments to some unknown person.

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I did that here way back when.

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And I’m doing it again now, except this time, it’s not just five people.

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1.) I’m sorry. Although I shouldn’t really be saying sorry, I just wanna say that I’m disappointed in myself for chasing after you for so long when I really shouldn’t have. I just wished I realized it sooner. But I’m glad I never told you, and I still won’t.

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2.) I don’t know why, but everytime I see you, I feel irritated. Just a morsel of your presence makes me so irritated. I don’t know why but you just make me go "arrrgh why does that person have to be there when I have to be there as well?"

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3.) I’m happy I got to finally spend time with you, it was fun, although not as fun as I thought it would be. I hope we get to spend more time together to build our friendship, it’ll be nice to have someone to talk to about serious things and not just gossip. I really admire you, the way you organize stuff the way you can keep up with all the hubbub without breaking down. If I was in your shoes, I would cry myself to sleep every night. I hope I can be more like you, you’re my ideal person.

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4.) I don’t really like the way you do things, but I really can’t do anything about it. I’m trying my best to synch with you and your ideas, but it seems you’re just not open to other suggestions. Sometimes you ask for suggestions but still do things your way. That kind of attitude, I can tolerate, although I’m not sure for how long. A person can only take too much, even the biggest rivers overflow if there’s too much rain.

Also try not to take all the work for yourself, that’s what subordinates are for. I hope you learn to work in the team , although I’m not sure if I’m a team player myself, but you should have more experience in that field than I do. Help doesn’t always equal actual work, it can be spoken advice as well, you don’t have to it all.

I am not a saint, I have my shortcomings, and for that I am sorry, I am trying my best, but you don’t have to undermine my abilities so.

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5.) Cute ka sana eh, talented pa. Too bad you like her and not me. Pero ok lang crush lang naman kita.

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6.) Hindi lahat ng tao pareho ng morals, what is right for you is different for another person kaya please do not impose your morals on others.

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7.) I think it’s now time for you to mature. As I said to number four, people can understand to some degree, but if you know that what you’re doing is rong, maybe shouldn’t stop at recognizing your flaws but actually start doing something about them.

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8.) No matter how much you diss me or how low you go, I’ll never descend to the underworld from whence you came. You can taunt me as much as you want, but I know that an adult should never deal with a toddler, because that is what you are. You may look mature physically but your mind still works like a child’s, unreasonable and irrational.

To think that you’re old enough to do anything legally, your brain still remains the size of a pea, I actually insult my four year old niece by saying you have a mind of a toddler, at least my niece has some understanding of right and wrong, and she’s very cute and proportioned, unlike you.

So this is my last tirade on you and what you are. Truth is, microorganisms like bacteria are the oldest beings on earth, but still they remain the same, single-celled and mindless, just like you. Me, I’m human, although my existence is just equal to that of a second compared to the hour that the world has existed, I know that out of all the things created before me, I am superior.

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Truth is, I’m just too chicken to say all this in person.

I was in the lounge and a guy asked (I don’t remember who) what was the difference when a woman has her period (or something like that) or was it why are women so moody during their period. And I was compelled to answer that it was due the hormones.

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See during ovulation, a woman’s body prepares itself for pregnancy, it increases progesterone and estrogen, which both trigger other bodily functions such as mammary gland activity and increased blood flood to the uterus etc. all in preparation for child carrying.

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Ovulation is the period before menstruation, by the way. But I never said the above paragraph to him. (I only said "sa hormones yun")

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I’m one of those women who gets easily irritated or easily excited when I have PMS (pre & post menstrual syndrome), so the renegade question caught my attention.

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I dunno if anyone actually said it or if I was imagining it, I don’t remember who it was anyway, but I know that it was a male who said it, and it was something like, PMS wasn’t an excuse or something, addressing it to the instances when women are unreasonable etc. during PMS, well I can’t quote him but from what i heard, my understanding of what he said was that a woman should still be logical during PMS.

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I do have one say in this men often mistake a woman’s moody attitude during PMS as illogical, when in fact it is not. We still retain the rationale that got us into U.P. we still have the analytical thinking that allow us to pass exams every semester even if we have PMS!

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The emotions that a woman does through during PMS has nothing to do with logic.

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I shall now try to xplain what happens, at least to me, during PMS. During PMs, the littlest of things irritate me, like the way you sat beside me, or the way you talk, the way you walk, even the way you breath!

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Due to the hormonal imbalance set off by ovulation, women are extra sensitive during PMS, which is why the littlest of things irritate them, and this includes you not answering the homework assigned to our group, you not understanding that what I was trying to say all along is what you’re saying to me, you not listening, you not cooperating, you being noisy and all that jazz!

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It is also because of the extra sensitivity that we get irritated so easily. Think of it as a faucet and a bucket, the faucet is the irrita factor and the bucket is the emotional reservoir, during PMS the faucet is set on high, therefore, the emotional reservoir gets filled faster, which in turn makes a woman who is normally patient, very impatient, and a woman who is normally impatient, serial-killer impatient.

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All of this has nothing to do with logic. Most of the time, a woman who gets irritated easily, knows that the things that are currently irritating her are trivial and do not deserve that kind of attention, in short alam nyang mababaw and ka-iritahan, but that doesn’t change the fact na naiirita sya. A person could only supress the emotional reservoir for so long and then after sometime it’ll overflow for sure.

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A woman, well at least I, know that during PMS, am extra loud and bossy and bitchy, but lemme tell you that when I get home all the bitchiness comes back and I feel like I really did an injustice to the people I shouted at, tinarayan, binara etc. So give us a break, just think that we’ll be beating ourselves up about whatever we did to you when we get home.

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And that’s because the logic never leaves, naooverpower lang sya ng emotion. Well, if you’ll use by bucket-faucet analysis you could say that logic is that small hole in the bottom of the bucket that leaks all the water out so that the bucket won’t fill. Unfortunately, during PMS the area of the hole remains constant.

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Comments? Go Lang!

ever vomitted in your mouth? Well if you haven’t then let me be the one to tell you that it’s totally gross!

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ech!

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Too much coffee either makes me vomit or makes me poop, this time it made me vomit.

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gross!

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That’s it actually.

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Until next time

From my previous entries, I said that I was playing my whole mp3 collection at random and I came across these cool lines that kinda stuck to me.

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I hope, we could spend more time together, a few hours is better than ever…  If we could only make it longer.

- Fine time, Eraserheads

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‘Cause I’m broken, when I’m open, and I don’t feel like I am strong enough

- Broke, Seether, feat. Amy Lee

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Just what we all need, more lies about a world that never was and never will be.

- Everybody’s Fool, Evanescence

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Everything falls apart, even the people who never frown eventually break down. Everything has to end we’ll soon find we’re out of time left to watch it all unwind.

- Pushing me away, Linkin Park

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And when there are times when I feel all alone, I reach down inside feelt he strength in my song. I look to the skies, dry the tears from my eyes; I let the joy rise from the ocean to the morning sky and near the love falls just remember, you’ve gotta let the joy rise.

-Joy rise, Abigail

I wonder

if other people doodle noodle bowls

on the blank space above their notebooks

I wonder

if other people listen to sad songs

so that it’ll be easier to cry

I wonder

if other people look behind their backs at midnight

thinking that a ghost is watching them

I wonder

if other people close their eyes in the shower

because the warm water gives them comfort

I wonder

if other people sleep on the floor

to get uncomfortable enough not to sleep too long

I wonder

if other people light dozens of candles at night

because the flames cool the eyes

I wonder

if other people think so much

that they start to be impervius to the rest of the world

I wonder

if other people are wondering the same things that I am

I wonder

if other people go outside in the middle of the night

just to feel the cool night breeze

and then go right back inside

because they’re afraid that a ghost might pop up

Just like me

Tinatamad na akong maghintay. I am as impatient as ever, and since I’m not in the mood to write anything official or paid, I’ve decided to reveal my 100th entry. SOrry walang makakakuha ng Hershey’s bar. (as if naman may interesado whohoo nagpaparinig)

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This is very dangerous.. I’m talking to myself.

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This is the list of my most recent entries. click it for a larger image

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This is the number of entries I’ve got so far, click the image for a larger picture

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go figure

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hehe

wahehehe umuwi ako today at dumating akosa bahay ng may araw pa. Amazing noh? Angsakit ng buong katawan ko, ewan ko kung baket. Napilitan lang akong bumangon kasia ng dami kong deadlines na kelangang gawin.

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Well, yun lang muna, reklamo mode lang, na-amaze lang ako at ang aga kong nkauwi.