Blah etc. and everything else

There is a modern saying that goes “’Di bale nang tamad ‘di naman pagod”, pero bakit ganun, tamad ako pero lagi akong pagod?

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I dunno why I started this entry like that; maybe it’s just the frustration and the great many things that I have yet to do. The only sources of comfort I have are these small snippets of thoughts that I post in my blog. If you’ve noticed, I pos almost everyday, that’s because that’s how frequently my mind gets filled with thoughts, and this blog serves as my pensieve. (read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) .

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But don’t get me wrong, although I’m usually flustered and irritated at most everything around me, I am happy with what I’m doing, maybe a little stressed, but happy nonetheless. The sense of achievement every time I finish a certain job makes me satisfied enough, although not as much as I wanted to be.

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Just now I remembered, a member asking an applicant in her sigsheet the following question: “Sino ang inspiration ni Mau”. And right now I just realized, sino nga ba ang inspiration ko, then another question popped into my mind, kailangan ba sino, ‘di ba pwedeng ano? . I just thought, why do inspirations have to always be people? Why can’t I be inspired with the idea of achieving my goals, why can’t I be inspired with the idea of finally reaching the peak of my success? . Although the person who asked that question was right, my inspiration is a who (sino) and not a what (ano).

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So much for that, I touched that topic because I’ve just recently found out, after an ounce of careful eavesdropping, that my eldest sister is getting married, and next week. Yeah she’s getting hitched, and the tentative date is AUGUST 26th! Of all the darned dates to choose she had to choose the date of the ChEnetics anniversary. Well I guess I’ll just have to choose, but the date is still tentative so, maybe it’ll be moved.

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Anyway so much for my sister, what compelled me to write this entry was the frustration hat I am still horribly single! Yes single, both my older sisters are friggin married and I’m still friggin single. Nyahahahaha.

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Yeah, I admit it I’m frustrated because I’m still SINGLE!! Nyahahaha, well it’s true, and so are a lot of single people I know. It’s like people are getting hitched all around me and I haven’t even found one decent boyfriend. Oh well what can you do. . Although I must admit that I feel elated that my sister’s getting hitched, which means she’s moving out, which means I am an ONLY child! Well sort of, I’m the youngest so I’ll be left at home with my parents, and will probably end up an old maid taking care of them when I grow a bit older, then end up lost and alone when I’m middle aged and my parents are dead.

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Now I’m sad again. Pathetic isn’t it? I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about this stuff, I should be enjoying myself. But when every stupid self-help book tells you to plan and predict your future, you can’t help but think about it.

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Now I feel worse, dangit.

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Well, I guess I could always adopt or be a philanthropist.

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Things you want to say to a person…. for the day

14) Don’t worry, di tungkol sau yung mga previous na tirades, wag kang masyadong maparanoid. At mas lalong di tungkol sau yung mga frustrations ko, wag ka rin sanang mag-feeling.

(panu kaya nya malalaman kung sya yun noh? wahehehe bahala na)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 15th, 2006 at 7:19 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.