Blah etc. and everything else

(19) You should be ashamed of yourself. Although I don’t really know your side, plain morals should’ve made you realize that what you did was wrong. Ic an’t blame you but, sabi gna ni Bugs Bunny "I like DEAD END signs… I think they’re kind.. They at least have the decency to let you know you’re going nowhere." But, what do I know, maybe there was a good reason… But still. I’m not mad tho.

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Only break

Yes, this is the only night that I get to go home without anything to do. Actually I still have a lot to do but I’m leaving tonight blank to catch up on sleep. Well apparently, catching up on sleep is impossible. So I just went and had a few minutes to make this blog entry, this is my full day spa.

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Subsisting on Chocolates

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Whoever invented the chocolate should be awarded some prestigious prize, he/she is a genius! Yeah chocolates are the best cures for the tired soul, the tired body and the tiresd spirit. Those little pieces of heaven would’ve been perfect if they weren’t so expensive.

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Super person

"I can’t stand to fly, I’m not that naive. I’m just out to find, a better part of me. I’m more than a bird… more than some pretty face beside a train, and it’s not easy to be me… Even heroes have the right to bleed…, the right to dream."

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Song

I like the song tumatakbo by who knows who, but I don’t have time to convert a flash version to put into my profile so here’re the lyrics instead.

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laging bigo
laging sawi sa pag-ibig
may balat nga ba ako sa pwet?
mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto
nakakainggit
tl..ang sweet nila ng kanyang nobyo
gusto ko lang maranasang umibig
tamaan ni kupido
gusto ko lang maranasan ang langit
tumibok muli ang puso ko

CHORUS:
Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako
ng panahon
Di na nagbago bawat araw
pare-pareho
parang kahapon

May birthday cake ka nga
ngunit wala namang kandila
may christmas tree na malupet
wala naman dekorasyong pansabit
sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay
walang kasing tamlay
ayoko sanang tumandang nag-iisa

(chorus)

tatanggapin na lang ba
ang malupit na tadhana
o kaya'y tatanggapin na lang
na ako'y sadyang hindi pinagpala
tigilan na ang drama
punasan na ang luha

(chorus)

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I watched House earlier, and there was this doctor, who had self guilt over a person who fell while repairing her roof and immediately after that was in a struggle of life and death.

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Dr. House has that twisted way of using medicine and psychology to invert a person’s point of view. And he said that it’s narcissistic to feel guilty for everything that goes wrong.

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It means when you feel guilt, you trust yourself too much to make things right, you believe you can make things right. You think too highly of yourself.

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I am narcissistic.

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That thing, that thing tha-at, thi-i-i-ing!:

17. If you have a problem with me, talk to me instead of talking behind my back. And yes I know you do, I’m not stupid.

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18. It saddens me that we are slowly falling apart, I don’t know what’s happening but we spend less and less time with each other, and it makes me worry. I still do enjoy your company, I’m just afraid you don’t enjoy mine as much as I used to.

There I finally got it off my system. Finally, after te headaches and the long talks with Dianne, I finally told him, and it’s now out of my system.
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Hallelujah!
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Although his first reply was, "nyak, seryoso ba yan?".
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To which I replied, "Oo magjojoke ba ako tungkol dun?".
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Haaai, its good to finally get it out. It’s like band-aid, you know it’ll hurt more if you remove it slowly, but you’re so afraid of the pain that even if you know it’ll hurt less if you remove it in just one pull, you still insist on removing it slowly. Well, I finally got the courage to remove it in one pull, and I’ve never felt better. It’s kinda heavy at first, and even though di na sya nagreply, keri lang, at least I’m all better.
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Thank goodness, it’s over and done and I can finally move on. One less headache, one less thing to think about each night.

Yeah I ahve three days to catch up on work and sleep. Yay!

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Things to do over the weekend:

Priority 1: Raket Mode

1. Finish writing articles - Deadline Aug 19

Priority 2: Extra Curricular Mode-1

1. Finish Articles for PURGED! (2x editorials, message, staff box, question)

     - Deadline Aug 20

2. Find exte Pictures for Argel

Priority 3: Acad Mode

1. Finish STs project (Video editing) - Deadline Aug 22

2. Study for Chem 153 - 2nd exam Aug 23

3. Study for ES 11 - Lab, Aug 23

4. Study for ChE 122 - Exam Aug 30

5. Study for ChE 133 - Exam Aug 29

Priority 4: Extra Curricular-2

1. Find Printing Press for Reactor

2. Draft Reactor Constitution

3. Find Logistics Commitee Members for Solidaridad Workshop

4. Find Venue for Solidaridad workshop

5. Make Reactor & PURGED! directories

Priority 5: Tidying up

1. Clean up my room (the clutter is piling up again)

2. Do my laundry

3. Clean the computer area (clutter here too)

This is late in coming, but Iw ant to thank everyone who went to our ACLE, Live Show: Silip sa Censorship, I didn’t really expect that many people to go, and I apologize for the lack of chairs and the noto cold air-conditioned room.

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I didn’t expect 98 (ninety-eight) people to fit in such a small room, so thanks to the alchemists who sacrificed their seats for the students from other colleges, I also thank the alchemists who althoughw eren’t in the room still satyed outside.

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Thanks especially to the people from other colleges who, even though we only put-up posters the day before ACLE, still came.

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Many thanks to MTRCB chairman Ma. Consoliza Laguardia for being our resource speaker and for opening the ACLE with such energy that the aircon gave up on cooling down the exuberant audience. Thanks for being such an enjoyable speaker, and also thanks for the freebies, which we didn’t expect.

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Thanks to Dr. Nicanor Tiongson for giving us his insights on censorship as well as gving us a scintillating talk on the movie "Live Show" and other aspects of censorship. We really learned a lot. Also thanky ou for providing us with the copy of the movie to show to the audience.

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And most of all THANK YOU GOD, tapos na! Thanks that our hardships have paid off, sana po suportahan nyo din kami next time.

I was doing my routine mail checking, racketeeringstuff, and I came across an unexpected friendster message.

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It was from Berns, my most favorite of friends and he said in his friendster message:

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mau.. alalng, it’s just nkita q ung blog mo… dko man nabasa lhat, parang me kakaiba? ok lng po ba ikaw? bsta d2 lng ko ha.. kung me prob man… it’s my pleasure to help u.. miss u na po… nweiz, just to make you happy… nadapa ako last nyt as in subsob pero xmpre naicp ko agad panu ung mukkha q… kya aun tnukod ko ung kamay pati siko.. kya e2 ako nkaratay… hehehe joke… awa ng Diyos 1 daliri ko lng ang durog pati cko durog din hhehehe…. sa katangahan maglakad daw ba sa dilim… wahehehe tanga ko no?! kung kelan 20 yrs old na tsaka pa nadapa… first tym q madapa sa buong buhay q… hehehe… ope napatawa kita.. ingatz po lagi. kain ontym…

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Just wanted to say that this was one of the most touching pieces of writing that I’ve received in my life, thanks talaga Berns, you just made my day.

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I was planning something, guess what… grungy for today’s blog entry, and because of that message and a lot of chocolate and some green tea, I’ve decided to forgo the bitching and think about the funny things that happened today.

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The first person that I remember is Gerald. My classmate at STS, also a groupmate, well some members of our group spent yet another night at his house to finish our STS report. I went there this morning to help them ‘cuz I was not able to spend the night with them.

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Then when it was time for baths and to go back to UP, he realizes that he didn’t pack briefs. Hehehe SO instead of side B, he was on pendulum mode… (go figure) Hehehehe He’d stand in front of Diane and start moving left and right emphasizing the pendulum motion.

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And then of course Len, my inspiration hehehe. She made me laugh all through the time we we’re shopping for food for ACLE.

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And of course my sister, who’s getting married next week, August 26, just in time for the ChEnetics anniversary. But I wont be going to her wedding, ‘cus it won’t be a church weddign anyway. But the good news is she’ll be in Japan for a long time after that (that’s why they’re getting married). Meaning I get the house all to myself, nyahahaha!

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The best happy thing would probably b the idea that tommorow, a quarter of my worries will be over, STS, ACLE and PURGED!, giving me time to worry about the other three-quarters.

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Hmm anu pa ba, hardinera mode pala ako kanina, kasi nagtransplant ako ng plants from their original pots to cuter pots, basta malalaman nyo bukas kung baket. Problem was, my dad’s not very keen on kaartehan, bawal ang kikay when there’s work to be done.

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Kaya ayun, with my long nails aking pinaghalo by hand ang lupa na gagamitin sa mga bagong paso. O say moh, sa shig ko sya hinalo, kaya heller ang nails ng lola mo pang spanksoil (hampas-lupa), pero nagenjoy ako, totoo palang nakakaenjoy ang intentional na pagdudumi ng sarili, take for example mud wrestling and mud baths. ^_^

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But the day can’t end without that thing you want to say to someone but can’t say it in person:

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15) I will not spend my time trying to convince you that all of the stereotypes in your head (especially of me) aren’t always true, especially after you went through all that trouble believing yourself.

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16) I really appreciate how patient you are, even if my mood swings are very unpredictable, you’re still there understanding me. I appreciate it especially because you let me cry without ridiculing me grabe sobrang thanks. And also, sorry for not understanding you when it’s you’re time to be moody or to share your problems. YOu don’t know how much you lighten my load whenever I talk to you.

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QUOTE:

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

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I don’t neccesarily share the same sentiments but ang galing ng quote. nagets mo ba yung quote?

There is a modern saying that goes “’Di bale nang tamad ‘di naman pagod”, pero bakit ganun, tamad ako pero lagi akong pagod?

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I dunno why I started this entry like that; maybe it’s just the frustration and the great many things that I have yet to do. The only sources of comfort I have are these small snippets of thoughts that I post in my blog. If you’ve noticed, I pos almost everyday, that’s because that’s how frequently my mind gets filled with thoughts, and this blog serves as my pensieve. (read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) .

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But don’t get me wrong, although I’m usually flustered and irritated at most everything around me, I am happy with what I’m doing, maybe a little stressed, but happy nonetheless. The sense of achievement every time I finish a certain job makes me satisfied enough, although not as much as I wanted to be.

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Just now I remembered, a member asking an applicant in her sigsheet the following question: “Sino ang inspiration ni Mau”. And right now I just realized, sino nga ba ang inspiration ko, then another question popped into my mind, kailangan ba sino, ‘di ba pwedeng ano? . I just thought, why do inspirations have to always be people? Why can’t I be inspired with the idea of achieving my goals, why can’t I be inspired with the idea of finally reaching the peak of my success? . Although the person who asked that question was right, my inspiration is a who (sino) and not a what (ano).

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So much for that, I touched that topic because I’ve just recently found out, after an ounce of careful eavesdropping, that my eldest sister is getting married, and next week. Yeah she’s getting hitched, and the tentative date is AUGUST 26th! Of all the darned dates to choose she had to choose the date of the ChEnetics anniversary. Well I guess I’ll just have to choose, but the date is still tentative so, maybe it’ll be moved.

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Anyway so much for my sister, what compelled me to write this entry was the frustration hat I am still horribly single! Yes single, both my older sisters are friggin married and I’m still friggin single. Nyahahahaha.

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Yeah, I admit it I’m frustrated because I’m still SINGLE!! Nyahahaha, well it’s true, and so are a lot of single people I know. It’s like people are getting hitched all around me and I haven’t even found one decent boyfriend. Oh well what can you do. . Although I must admit that I feel elated that my sister’s getting hitched, which means she’s moving out, which means I am an ONLY child! Well sort of, I’m the youngest so I’ll be left at home with my parents, and will probably end up an old maid taking care of them when I grow a bit older, then end up lost and alone when I’m middle aged and my parents are dead.

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Now I’m sad again. Pathetic isn’t it? I can’t believe I’m actually thinking about this stuff, I should be enjoying myself. But when every stupid self-help book tells you to plan and predict your future, you can’t help but think about it.

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Now I feel worse, dangit.

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Well, I guess I could always adopt or be a philanthropist.

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Things you want to say to a person…. for the day

14) Don’t worry, di tungkol sau yung mga previous na tirades, wag kang masyadong maparanoid. At mas lalong di tungkol sau yung mga frustrations ko, wag ka rin sanang mag-feeling.

(panu kaya nya malalaman kung sya yun noh? wahehehe bahala na)

I think I’m gonna do the say-what-you-want-to-say-to-a-person-through-your-blog thing everyday, cuz everyday it seems I’m supressing something, and to prevent the pent up emotions from overflowing like it so freely did lastweek, I’m gonna vent these here.

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11.) I really can never predict you, although I wish I can, then it’ll be easier to laugh around you. When I’m with you, I feel as if I’m being observed from head to toe, and it’s annoying. I feel that you’ll notice every wrong thing I do, I just hate that feeling that I have when I’m with you.

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12.) If I can’t predict number 11, about you, I am simply clueless. I don’t know if you’re a friend or a foe, and sometimes, I can’t help but think that you’re saying bad stuff about me when I’m not around. That’s the kind of personality you have. You’re self-righteous and you don’t care about others, all you think about is yourself. But somehow I pity you, because I can’t help but think that someday, you’ll be all alone.

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13.) Although this is the 13th you are not neccesarily a cause of bad luck. I just hope that all the bad luck happening to you (if any) isn’t clouding your judgment nor your logic. Please minsan naman magisip ka. Sometimes you need to reflect before you speak, use your brains dear, God gave it to you for a reason.

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_________________________________________________________________________

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This is a pretty good anger management thing. Truth is, I’ve never been pushed to the edge of my patience as much as I’ve beent hesepast few days. It’s so haggardous that I even shout at the people who have nothing to do with it.

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Actually, I felt better this morning, after I wrote yesterday’s and the other day’s blog entry on saying things to people etc. It really lifted my spirits this morning. Spirits which were rapidly pulled down by a series of problems that I didn’t know existed until I stepped into UP. Tama si Danjun, mamamatay tau (mga taga UP) ng maaga.

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*sigh

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In fairness maganda nga namang anger management thing to, pero mas trip ko pa rin yung pagsuntok sa unan, nagiging fluffy pa yung unan ko para sa pagtulog.

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Seriously try it, when you’re specially frustrated or angry, suntukin mo yung unan mo. Or sometimes, pag nasa CR ako at wala ako sa mood kumanta, susuntukin ko yung tubig, and the warm splashes calm me down too. Haay parang ang sarap gawin ngayon kasi may gusto akong sakalin….

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Ma-try nga.

Ayun ES11 exam nung saberdey, natuwa pa ako nung mga time na yun kasi akala ko ok yung answers ko. Tas nagdiscuss na yung mga smart na tao sa tambayan, at naralize ko na, syet, mali pala ang mga kasagutan ko. Aking nakaligtaan na kailangan palang perpendicular distance and gagamitin pag kinukuha ang scalar measure ng moment of a force about a point.

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Although I can’t say that it was all good, at least my STS overnight was kinda satisfying.

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After the ES 11 exam, I had an overnight at a groupmate’s house to finish our report for STS. Well we shot a few commercials for the video-report and after all of them were shot, one overwritten but not re-shot, anu pa ba edi nag-inuman. I promised myself na iinom ako pag sabog ang ES 11 exam.

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So ayun naginuman kami, hehehe,  I don’t know how to say that it was so fun, fisrt of all, I didn’t overdrink, so I was only tipsy at the most, and never entirely drunk.

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Well nagseparate kasi into two yung group namin. Since kailangan ko pang i-edit yung footage, ako and two of my groupmates stayed with me inside the house, the other four went outside because they smoked.

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One of my groupmates was an 18 yr old who didn’t know how to drink, it was only his 2nd drinking session. And it was pretty fun watching him make a fool of himself. He’d lie on the floor laughing, or else make pretty stupid comments. He’s usually pretty quiet. Pero ang pinakapanalo sa ginawa nya, is that he answered the phone (landline) because he thought it was ringing… but it wasn’t. LOL

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Another groupmate was a Theater arts major who’s a member of UPSA, he’d start singing out of nowhere.

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After the booze was used up, I took a bath before settling into bed. Only to be woken up by my groupmates who, God knows why, still aren’t sleepy.

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So me, Dianne, Ronald, Danjun and Chris stayed up till 5am playing truth or dare. And surprisingly enough, it was all fun, no matter how old truth or dare is. Questions started from sino crush mo dito sa loob ng house to sino ang first kiss mo to kung kelagnan mong pumili, sino sa mga tao dito sa loob ng house ang makaka-toot- mo. And since we were all so drunk, we actually answered the questions.

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The dares were all pretty daring, hehehe. Ronald (the UPSA guy) mostly came  up with the rated PG dares like bumeso ka kay ganito or i-kiss mo yung nose nitong person na to etc. Hahahah and just as well, they did the friggin dares!

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Hmmm what else, we had loads of fun fighting over the blankets because the room was airconditioned and it was raining. (And we didn’t want tot urn off the aircon.)

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Anyway, I now have a headache, because we left that house in Antipolo around 10am and I arrived home at about 11:50. I slept from 11:50 to 10:30 (say mo) And I think the oversleeping gave me the headache because I don’t remember having it when we left Antipolo.

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Anyway, I’m watching the video of the thing right now, (Chris video-ed us while we were drinking ‘cuz he didn’t drink.) I wasn’t so bad drunk (well tipsy) after all.

I was running out of things to say to people last time, but I’ve got new material now.

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9.) I really don’t like the way you talk to me, it just irritates me. Haven’t you noticed me being mean to you all this time? You’re okay most of the time though, but there are days when everything you say irritates me.

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10.) Waaaaa iba ka talaga napatagalog mo ako! Anyway I didn’t realize that you could be so… fun to be with. All this time I thought you were stuck up, but I was wrong, you’re kinda fun.

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sige yan muna