Blah etc. and everything else

Well I’m back again. I was going to take a sabbatical in blogging but it seems this’ll be my only outlet for days to come.

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As I’ve anticipated, the truckload of work has been unloaded, already I’m trying to find ways of dividing myself. Well, that is why I don’t know if I’m going to be happy or sad when I found out that I bested the "Reactor" Editorial exam and am now the editor-in-chief.

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Of course the initial reaction was euphoria. After all, three years ago, I’ve never even dreamed of writing for a real publication, much less being it editor-in-chief. To tell the truth I never really expected to be accepted, it was just one of those things that I did out of peer pressure.

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I don’t even think of myself as a good writer. I told Sheng this before, I am not confident about my writing skills, never was and never will be.

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But here I am.

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I should be a little happier right?

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I don’t know. As I said in my previous entries, maybe I bit off more than I can chew, sadyang gahaman kasi.

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Pero sabi nga nila, God won’t give you something that you cant handle. Pero God naman, nakalimutan Mo atang 3 majors ko this sem at isang Chem 153. Kinalimutan mo din atang may Equipment design at take home examsa 134, at head ako ng ACLE.Dahan dahan lang God, baka di ko kayanin.

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Anyway, what really saddens me is that I didn’t pass the online writing job thing that I applied for a few days ago. If truth be told, as much as it honors me to become editor-in-chief of two publications at school, I’d still prefer to be a normal writer, at least I get paid.

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Well I guess there’s a plan for everyone. But I’m not quitting. At least not yet. I’ll try this out, and maybe it’ll all be okay in the end. And for that I promise to do my best, and if that doesn’t work out, belat na lang!

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XCS

Baket walang humuhula ng 100th entry koooo!?!?! Ayaw nyo ba ng chocolate? huhuhuh

     I was going to make an entry for the CEERS event, and how by sheer luck and coincidence I ended up with a group of ALCHEMES undergraduates and alumni at SM Megamall. We ended up eating at Sbarro (subsidized by kuya Jake), playing, or at least buying tokens from Glicos (wala kaming napala kasi lahat ng games sira), then playing at World of Fun (wala na palang "s" yung world) and then finally having discussions and a second dinner at KFC.

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     Ang lakas tlaga ng convinciong powers ni kuya Jose at napilit nyang manlibre sina Kuya Jake, JP at ate Joyce. (3ple J?)

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     Wala na akong maisip na isulat, I just though na kelangang idocument ang nangyari kahapon. But I’m too tired to, too sleepy, too anything to do anything productive today.

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     Well I did somethign remotely productive, and that was to look for online work. But since I’m a newbie, I couldn’t get the high demand/easy assignments, so instead of ending up with the 38 page assignments, I chose to to take any assignment at all.

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     I hope the other raket that I’m applying for pays much better, and gives more assignments than this one. At this rate, my internet connection costs will actually be bigger than what I earn. Haaai

Well I’ve gone up to 100 posts on this blog, and I didn’t realize it until today. So in celebration of that, I’m giving a HERSHEY’s plain chocolate bar to the first one who can guess the title of my 100th entry!

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Diba ang saya?

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Just put a comment on this entry with yer name and the title of the 100th entry.

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Why am I doing this? Ala lang!

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Clue (Dahil nirequest ni Sheng)

- Hindi Century Mau (Parang tuna!)

- Nasa mga posts ko during June-July and 100th post ko

- It’s a very IMPORTANT post

- Masaya yung post na yon

Sheng!: I’m okay, really dude!

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Ur so paranoid!

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hehehe! I’ve never been better! Mahilig lang akong mag-inarte kasi y’know sa blog lang pwede yun!

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Anyway, to the rest of the people out there, my profile has a new song in it. It’s called Did I Do That? by Mariah Carey featuring a bunch of rappers.

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the lyrics:

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Did I do that?

featuring Mystikal & Master P

I really hope
When you hear this song
That you’re happy
With
someone new
I found a love I can call my own
And I owe it in part to you

Don’t you know that you seem
Just a little crazy
You had my
trust and intimacy
But you threw it away just threw it away
And now it’s
all in the past
When I think of you
I just laugh
My friends must
have thought
I was high to have given so much
To someone not worth my
time

CHORUS:
Funny how sometimes
You can really lose your mind

And do things you would never do

You rhapsodize
And get caught
up in the hype
‘Till your senses return to you
Love plays you for a fool

You were so insecure
And your crew was so immature

Conversations, painfully weak
You were much better off
When you
didn’t speak
But boy to tell you the truth
lt was my illusion of you

Being somehow destined for me
That had me in a daze
But we’re not
the same in truth

REPEAT CHORUS

I really hope when you hear this
song
That you know it was meant for you
Though your attention span’s not
that long
Try to do the best you can do!

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Ayan, matutulog na dapat ako eh. Kaso during my prerequisite meditate time before matulog, nafigure ko… Hahaha I’m FREE!!!

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Nababaliw na ata ako.      

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Don’t worry i’m not under drugs or anything, I just realized na di ko na sya mahal! YESSSSSS!!!!    

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I won’t put in the details pero, hahaha this time totoo na! Amazing talaga, it goes away as fast as it arrives, parang bagyo, biglang uulan at hahanging ng napakalakas tas biglang bukas aaraw.

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And with that realization, may naalala akong song, yun nga ang song ni Ms. Cary. Pero di naman ako naabuso at hindi din naman sya ganun kadumb, kaya yung mga lyrics lang na nakabold ang nagaaply sa situation na ito. Ang galing diba swak na swak sila?

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Anyway, I posted the song because I think a certain someone would find it useful, sure ako, sakanya, magaaply yung BUONG SONG!!!! HEHeHEHE kilala mo na kung sino ka! SAna magustuhan mo as much as I did.

     I finally got to cleaning my room today. I haven’t seen my floor so clean in months! Hahaha, It’s usually cluttered with notebooks, scratch papers, junk food wrappers, books, bags, cds, wires and what have you.

     I study on the floor, and I use my bed as my table, I don’t like studying while sitting on a chair cuz it constricts my leg activity, I like my legs level with my hips when I study, so I either study while cross-sitting, or with my legs propped up on another chair. so when it’s time to clean up or throw the trash inside the trashcan its usually to far to reach, so I end up putting the trash in a big pile beside me and throw it later.

     So after the trash is thrown, there still remains the readings, which I don’t usually have time to tidy up cuz I probably have to prepare for school. (I study during the wee hours of the night when people can’t disturb me) And by the time I arrive from school, I’m gonna be needing the books and readings again and the cycle goes on and on.

     Fortunately today’s cancellation of classes allowed me to clear my room as well as the desk around my PC, which is equally cluttered.

     Hmmm, what else. I read this short story, which was full of symbolism, but my head hurt a lot while reading it, it was kinda discontinuous and it had no sense at all, so right now my head’s hurting really bad.

     Anyway I finally got episode 89 of bleach! yay! I hope the fillers end soon. and I’m downloading episodes 32 thru 37 of Tsubasa Chronicles. I’m kinda going hyper on the downlaoding because I didn’t have internet access for one whole week.

     What else, what else. 

     I’m changing my profile’s song! Cuz I’m not so happy anymore.  I changed it to feels like fire by Santana feat. Dido. listen to it!

     Hmm. One thing though, I dind that the things that’re happened recently makes my enthusiasm decrease, it seems the work that I used to enjoy is starting to become a burden, the people that I used to like are starting to irritate me, I wonder why.

     Kasi bakit ba may blame? Bakit may NAGEEMOTE, nagmomoment, at fumafactor? Get a grip! People were made unique, iba ibatau sa iba’t ibang aspeto, therefore, you can’t expect other peopel to act the way you do, or to think teh way you do, what is pride for you, may just as well be irritating for others, what is just to you might not be just to others. Ewan ko ba, lahat naman tayo may utak, bakit yung iba jan minsan sinasayang yung brain cells.

     sorry di makapagpigil. Nawala ko kasi yung editorial na nasulat ko eh. nabura ko ata sa flash drive ko, ayun hehehe gone forever. Ayoko nang irewrite, wala na kasi yung fire, so next time na lang, dito ko na lang ilalabas. Pag may fumactor ulet.

     Pero hindi lang yun, in general, I’m not satisfied with what I’m doing anymore, wala na yung fun kahit yung anticipation wala na. Things change tlaga no? Haaai

The past week was probably the most difficult week of my life. Last Sunday, something struck the telephone pole a block from my house, and apparently, our phone line is connected to that pole, so for one week I had no internet dangit.

So right now, I’m updating myself on latest manga chapters and anime episodes of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and Bleach.

Also because of the no-phone incident, I didn’t have the chance to update on my rakets, which means, wlang sweldo this week. Haai I was planning on going on a food trip coz last week was sooo stressfull.

Apart from last week being stressful, I couldn’t release my stress cuz I can’t write in this blog, sheesh. Last week would probably have been witness to the most number of blog entries I’d had in a week. It seemed like everytime I had thinking time last week, I was thinking of a possible blog entry, unfortunately, I don’t have an internal hard-drive, so all those creative stuff’s lost forever.

I am still planning on that food trip, I think after all the sleepless nights, I deserve that big slab of chocolate mousse and that venti size mocha frappe (yum)

SO I’m back with my rakets, and I’m praying that these apy off, I have to buy myself a laptop.

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change topic

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I remember thinking about this last night before I finally dozed off to sleep. I was trying to read this romance novel, well I should say, I tried in vain. I haven’t gone to reading novels as much as I used too, there’s just too much to do. So I looked into my sisters room and looked for novels, and I saw this book, the title’s too cheesy, I’m not putting it in here.

Anyway, I didn’t even finish the first chapter for God’s sake too cheesy, I was embarassed for the writer for having the guts to write those words and actually publish it.

Then I remember one thing a friend of mine said to me while we we’re having merienda, he was asking about my day because I had spent a majority of that day with "GL."

A few months ago, I would have answered "Syempre and saya" with matching giggles and blush and ngiti hanggang tenga. That’s why its bothering me that ow, I’m not so affected anymore. I see him often, more often than before, and, well wala na yung kilig factor. Actually, I only noticed this recently, because wellt he people who know tend to ask pretty often, but I’m finding myself, feeling more normal and less kilig, when they do.

Is this what they call falling out?

Wala lang, just a thought, pero I don’t miss him as much as I used to.

Happy
by square heads

One day, you came to me
Freed me from misery
I touched the music in you
You started to feel so happy
Makes me jump up and down
You know my heart gets…
Each time that meet
I´m just so happy I met you
Happy
I am feeling so happy
I´m gonna go happy
You make me so happy
Can´t you see I´m happy now

Oneday, you said to me
Happy is where I wanna be
One plus one makes it two
That equals me and you
Each time we make love
Until the day I met you
All of my dreams came true
I am so happy I met you

Happy
I´m feeling so happy
I´m gonna go happy
I´m gonna be happy
Can´t you see I´m happy now

I-KNOW-I-WAN-T-TO-BE-HA-PPY-ONE-DAY-WI-TH-YOU-NOW-I-WAN-T-TO-BE-HA-PPY-WI-TH-YOU-MY-BA-BY—MY-BABY—MY-BABY-MY-BABY-MY-BABY-MY-BABY

Happy
I´m gonna be happy
I´m gonna be happy
Can´t you see I´m happy now

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     The song above is entitled, (duh!) Happy. I encountered this song back in fourth year high school, I always sing this one when I’m especially happy, and I am asooo happy now! In fact, I’m so happy, the song is playing in my profile! (click it!)

      Well medjo mali mali yung lyrics (parang may kulang sa grammar) and although the main focus of the song is kinda the line "I am so happy I met you" that’s not why I’m happy, rather I’m focusing on the chorus more, hehehe "can’t you see I’m happy now!" And nakakadala kasi yung beat kasi parang happyng happy nga pati yung Bg music.

      A few minutes ago, I just received the news that classes tommorow are cancelled, whohooo! And the euphoria that I am currently experiencing is way beyond the anticipation of a whole day of sleep.

     A few minutes before I found out that classes are cancelled, I was just drafting an hour-to-hour schedule for tommorow and the days after that. I was scheduling study periods for ES 11 and ChE 133, draft-making time for ACLE proposals, PURGED! agenda, and ChE 134 equipment design, research and typing time for my three article assignments (due July 14 and 16) aaand study time for ES11 and Chem 153 (which might be rescheduled on July 15).

     I actually drafted a three-day hourly schedule, with only 4 hours of sleep each day! So you can just imagine the joy I felt when I found out that tommorow’s 133 exam is cancelled, and the ES 11 homework for tommorow is rescheduled as well. That means, I have the whole day tommorow to not only study for ChE 133 and ES 11, but to also finish the drafts and most especially the article assignments due for July 14!

     And saya saya ko, kanina ko pa iniisip kung kakayanin ko bang hindi matulog ng tatlong araw! Ang galing galing talaga ni Lord, na-feel nya ang hirap ko. Salamat po!

     It’s good to have something to look forward to everyday, it gives you something to live for, something to sacrifice if you get too lazy to get out of bed, something to feel good aboyut every time you travel from home to school/office.

     I sure wish I had something like that everyday. But don’t get me wrong, I do have fun sometimes, and there are things that I do look forward to everyday, but it seems that the sadder things cancel out the stuff that are supposed to cheer me up.

     Maybe its that phase again when I get all depressed and stuff. It just seems that wherever I go, whatever Id o, even if I’m just chillin’ or hanging out or palying cards, there’s this voice that keeps nagging be about the other things that I have to do, the responsibilities that I have to live up to etc. Because of that voice, I can never really enjoy that which I am looking forward to.

     sigh* Well at least I still have this blog. If it isn’t obvious ot the readers, I usually post a lot of entries when I’m either very happy or very depressed so please be prepared to recieve a few more messages informing you that I’ve updated my blog.

     To Sheng: Thanks honey! (waaa soo lesbian!) Ang kapwa sawi sa pag-ibig nyahaha. Thanks for always taking the time to read my ramblings, ikaw lang ang laging nagcocomment. (sana yung ibang tao magcomment den)

     And dear, your comment on my gold and diamonds entry was WAY OFF! Hehehe, anyway you won’t understand the real essence of that entry unless you’re an alchemist. Don’t worry dude maybe someday I’ll tell you what that entry was about. Anyway, the words "Hindi kami bobo" hindi ako nagsabi nun, quoted yun from a confidential source. Alam ko namang hindi ako bobo noh, di ko na kelangang iannounce sa iba na hindi ako bobo kasi understood naman yun.

2:20 am, I don’t know why I’m not sleepy yet. there’re 300 more 5mb files queued up for download, soon my 80 gig hard drive would be pressing for air.

I really don’t know why I can’t sleep, I seem to feel tiresome more often these days, tiresome and irritable. It seems the small things make sparks fly before my eyes and without noticing it I’m either shouting my head off or else murmuring in loathing.

What the hell is happening to me? I guess all the sleepless nights are catching up on me. Already I find it hard to catch my breath after doing the trek from AS to Engg. Haaai if I’m lucky I’ll die a swift death, that is if I’m scheduled to do so, not that I’m hoping for it or anything.

Anyway, I’m still trying to save up for a laptop, so I’m taking up roughly three rakets at the same time. But I’m planning on dropping the first raket I got htis year, it’s kinda low paying and uber demanding.

Well if there was anything to cheer me up it was a good shopping session that I did last saturday. Unlike most girls, I do not sho for clothes. Believe it or not, I find it comforting to shop for school supplies. I don’t know why but buying pens paper, sticky notes, and as of saturday, white boards, give me a thrill. What a geek huh?

Now all I need is a great big chocolate bar with NO ONE to share with, then I’ll be a-ok. I’m plannign to buy a gigantic bar of cadbury or probably a hersheys and snack on it tommorow morning. My mouth’s already watering.

Well that’s all for now, I was palnning on this whole life analysis essay but I’ve decided against it, hehehe I need the sleep. Night readers thanks fer readin.

     I am finally able to update this thing, thank God. I’ve been telling myself to add a few more entries, but I always tend to forget it. After all, a few additional minutes of sleep is  much more valuable than a blog entry.

     Updates:

PURGED!

     I am now EIC of PURGED! (whoohoo) and of course I’m happy about it. And even if the announcemet was made like last week everything is still surreal. I got the paper’s back and read the comments of the judges. Truth is, I don’t take criticism lightly. Hehehe I ahte to be criticized, but I guess it’s part of life. So Although it clinched my heart everytime I saw a handwritten thing next to the neatly printed words of my article, I sucked it all in and kept on reading.

     I guess we all need to be crticized or challenged once in a while so that we’ll be able to realize our full potential. Indeed challenges are what makes life interesting, it’s not really if we overcome them or not, but it’s how we rise up to them.

     So although I could say more about the comments that teh judegs made, I am thankful that theyt ook the time to read my stupid opinions and I promise to do better next time.

Printer

     I bought a new printer! Yay! and I now have a scanner. Hehehehe

Laptop

     I’m on a raket fix. I’m trying to raise as much money as I can so I could buy myself a laptop. Unfortunately, my parents refuse to buy me one ‘coz I already have a desktop at home. That’s fine, I bet it’ll feel a helluva lot better if I bought that laptop with my own blood sweat and tears.

     But there is one problem. I’m an IMPULSIVE BUYER! In short, although I’m working my head off, I still haven’t had any "savings improvement" hehehe, I find myself needing more things than usual when I know that I have money in the bank.

Rest

     I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately. Unlike other people, I’m not used to sleeping less than eight hours a day. Unfortunately, my hectic schedule prevents me a decent night’s sleep. Even if I do find time to actually sleep eight hours, i end up having nightmares (seriously) about the other things that I have to do. sheesh

     And I think the lack of sleep has affected my patience and temperament. I get irritated easily now, and I am, well, impatient. Arrrgh!

     SO I’m also tkaing this oppotunity to apologize to those that I’ve lashed out at for no reason at all. Or if nag-inarte ako in any way. Haiii, I do’t know what’s happening to me basta pag tumahimik na ko tigilan na ko wokey?

Others

     If you read my previous entry, you probably wouldn’t understand it. It was just a barage of thoughts that I just had to write in order to ease the internal pressure that built when a read a certain message.