Finally, I get to write another entryFinally
Finally I get to write another entry. Frankly, this summer, 24 hours a day just isn’t enough anymore. What free time I have I usually spend sleeping, which is about 2-5 hours a day. no wonder coffee has no effect anymore.
Anyway, my computer broke down, which is kinda normal considering I acquired the blaster worm from I don’t know where. And just when I was having the longest breakdown free streak ever since my parents bought this damned PC. It almost lasted a whole year without breaking down, well unfortunately, it kinda had to.
So I was backing up my hard drive, which was about 30 GIGABYTES! SO far I’ve used roughly 30 cd’s and I’m not done yet coz I ran out of CD’s to use. So I’m gonna have to buy some tommorow or maybe on monday and resume my cd writing rest time.
Well while backing up my hard drive and contemplating just how come I acquired so many electronic stuff. I came to writing a rough catalog of cds, which contained what and which cd’s I have to throw out.
And while browsing my 10 cd mp3 collection, I found this old Mariah carey song that I really like way back in first year highschool. I used it as a theme song for my profile, its called breakdown. This song led me to Bone Thugz ‘n Harmony, and eventually to liking rap and hating pop for the most part of my highschool days. Liking rap then led me to liking Linkin Park, whose vocalist, MIKE SHINODA is my oh so favorite celebrity of all time, who raps. (konek ba?)
Anyway, back to breakdown, there are these lines that I really like:
I guess I’m trying to be nonchalant about it
I’m going through extremes to prove I’m fine without you
And in reality I’m slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I’m dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
’cause I don’t want to reveal the fact that I’m suffering
So I wear my disguise till I go home at night
Turn down all the lights and then I break down and cry
Basically it’s about denial. It’s a love song and it technically doesn’t apply but I really get what she’s trying to say here. I’m sure everyone has had that time when they had to smile in front of society and just hide their fear and pain. Well It doesn’t have to be always that way.
Gosh now I feel depressed.
So to avoid feeling too depressed and eventually breaking down before I sleep (hehe) I remembered why I wanted to write an entry in the first place. I’ve wanted to voice or rather pen out these thoughts for so long, but I just didn’t have the time.
So I’ve come to the conclusion, that some people are just simply purely naturally, unchangeably EVIL. They, the ones who go out of their way to make everybody else’s life miserable. I don’t know why they keep on doing what they do, it’s like God didn’t grant them a brain, or maybe they were brainwashed.
The first time I meet someone and get a bad impression from say, the way that she talks or looks, I always give someone the benefit of the doubt. Which since I’ve started doing it, has lessened the number opf people that essentially pisses me off. If I don’t like her at first sight, I look at her logically, maybe she’s just haging with the wrong crowd, may she’s just trying to prove herself, maybe she’s just innately nakakainis in my point of view, maybe she’s just simply dumb, those previous phrases I can contemplate, but obnoxious without reason, that I can’t let go.
I mean you go out of your way to be geniunely kind and friendly and the next thing you know there’s a big rambo knife sticking out your back. Not just some ordinary knives, this is the knife that gets pushed in by one person and then poked at by that person’s friends so that the "stabee’s" agony is about 200% more than it really should have been. I mean instead of pulling it out, they prefer to drive it in.
So now I ask, are those the people that you call intellectuals? Intelligent maybe, but intellectual, I doubt.
Galit ako sa plastik yun lang yon. Although I do have my plastic times, sabi nga nila galit ang magnanakaw sa kapwa magnanakaw. Well if I’m a thief, then the people I’m talking about are the Thieves guild, a group pretending to help fellow thieves but are really just stealing what the thieves stole in the first place.
There I finally wrote it down. And my windows update is almost done so, I guess this is it for now. Ciao and thanks for reading it.
-I actually gave this entry a once over to proofread it. Amazing huh? Tell me if I missed any errors. thanks
