Blah etc. and everything else

     I heard this new song over MTV, it’s the song just feel better by Carlos Santana, feat Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. It goes like this:

Just Feel Better

 
She said I feel stranded
And I can’t tell anymore
If we coming or I’m going
It’s not how I planed it
I’ve got a key to the door
But it just won’t open
 
And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don’t, I don’t, I don’t
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time
 
I’m gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can’t see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
 
And I can’t find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
 
She said I need you to hold me
I’m a little far from the shore
And I’m afraid of sinking
You’re the only one who knows me
And who doesn’t ignore
That my soul is weeping
 
I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have it seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day’s the one before
But this time, this time
 
I’m gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can’t see through the haze around me
And I’d do anything to just feel better
 
I can’t find my way
God I need a change
And I’d do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better
 
Long to hold you in my arms
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It’s really getting old
I think I need a little help this time!
 
Yeah
[Guitar solo]
 
I’m gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can’t see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better
 
And I can’t find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

     Haaay, ilalagay ko

sana

sa profile ko para tumutugtog, kaso di ko maimport sa flash yug mp3 para maging .swf yung file, haay next tym ko na lang bubusisiin. Madalas naman iplay sa MTV, sa radio at sa Myx eh, hintayin nyo na lang.

Fave verse:

And I can’t find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

     Sir Muñoz wasn’t kidding when he said some people (including me) would need an Ephipany to change what we are. That is especially when he himself is getting in between me and my life changing experience. Sabi nga ni Bart eh nakakaalis ng momentum. Biro mo, feel na feel ko na ang paggawa ng take home exam kanina, tapos pagdating ko sa ChE department eh moved pala lahat ng activities under prof Muñoz to Wednesday!!!

     I mean here I am struggling to get out of my procrastinating slump and there he is promoting it. All I wanted was a little consideration. Ok lang siguro kung finals na yun, pero may finals pa kami eh. When he moved the take home exam to

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

, that means everything else gets moved. Passing dat would be March 31, and Finals would be March 3. (because 2 is a Sunday) And March 3, is the UP ALCHEMES (ayan kuya Jaypee, minention ko na) semender. *gigil!*

     I was going to go and study my head off, and I found out there was nothing to study for. If he’d left sample exams or anything of the sort, then I would practice, but it’s really hard to answer problems when after you’re done, you’re not really sure if what you got is right or wrong.

Next fave verse:

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don’t, I don’t, I don’t
Because it never worked before
But this time, this time
 
I’m gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can’t see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

     My feelings exactly. Haay, it’s not like I wanted to be like this, I used to be a very productive student. I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior, because part of it came from my own carelessness. I’m not exactly proud of what I am right now, and I know I can do much better, sabi nga sa 131, kelangan ng enough driving force.

     Kailan kaya mangyaayri yon? I figured if I gave up a few of my "addictions" I’d be able to manage my time better, pero, it’s like I’m always on the verge of breaking down, either sa pagod or sa stress (two very different things, I assure you).

  A friend of mine said, I should give myself an ultimatum. If I don’t achieve this, in this span of time,t hen I must give up something. I tried doing that with the other small stuff, like cleaning my room. It kinda worked, but not very effectively. I figured If I just focused more, then I could achieve more, problem is, I get very easily distracted.

     Haaay, what am I going to do with myself?

     Kailangan ko na ata ng bantay. Haaay.

    I have this experiemnt that I’d like to do over the summer, if it works, then there just might be a shred of hope for me, let’s see what’ll happen.

     Yan na muna, di pa masyadong madrama, di pa ako masyadong depressed or masyadong masaya, nafeel ko lang na kelangan nang magpost kasi inaalikabok an tong blog ko. Sabi nga nung teacher ko sa religion, kaya si Mother Consuelo Barcelo ang pinapagdasal namin for beatification at hindi si Mother Rita Barcelo, eh dahil mas marami syang written documentation kaya mas madali, kahit na mas astig si Mother Rita. So I’ll need enough documentation para someday, when people are praying for my sainthood, they’ll have much to work on… Churva!

     There’s a sayng, "The grass is much greener on the other side of the fence." But if everyone in the world thought that they could find better places over the "fences" and suceeded in scaling that fence onto the other side, won’t it all be just a weird game of "bilog-bilugan?" The "Ginebra" commercial did say "bilog ang mundo" (The earth is round) so if everybody went over the fence the last person would end up in the first person’s backyard.

     So the question of the century is, why can’t people just be content with what they have and be thankful they they aren’t faring worse? I understand wanting to have something better, if for example you live in Payatas, or in some squatter’s area. But hello, if you’re living in a two story house, studying college and having three meals a day, then you’re faring much better than 50% of the 86 million Filipinos out there.

     And what’s up with those people who want President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to resign? The Philippines is enjoying a 51.50 peso to dollar excahnge, hellloooo!? I know it sounds shallow and unknowledgable. And I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about politics or the economy. But people who keep rallying and mobilizing are just worsening the situation. That’s why there is a thing such as due process, people who thought up those two words weren’t kidding when they put it in the constitution. Its not just some optional thing that gets trashed everytime a group of people wants it to.

     Imagine during the time of Estrada, inflation rate was fatter than an obese woman gorging on 2 kilograms of chocolate a day, the exchange rate reached a whopping 59.75, at least as far as I can remember, and there was our president getting fat and stuffing his arteries in a million dollar yatch bought by people’s taxes.

     During the time of Ramos, and what I mean by that is before Estrada became president, I still remember the peso-dollar exchange rate to be somewhat of 26 pesos to a dollar, almost half of what it is now. Even if the millions of impoverished people who support him came down here to my house and tried to kill me, I wont take back the fact that I think Joseph Ejercito-Estrada was the worst thing that’s happened to our country since the Japanese came.

     Enough about Estrada, back to Arroyo, she is an economist, she knows what she’s doing, isn’t that enough? And if all the coups and the destabilization plots and the rallies would just stop, I can almost assure that this country would be running as smoothly as a brand new car except it won’t rust as time goes by. Why, because the rust that is the politicians of this country, who have nothing in mind but the amount of payback they’ll get when they’re in office, will be non-existent.

    Haay I was going to write something heartwarming and maybe something about how my life sucks, but, well I’ll save that for later na lang.

I haven’t made an entry for so long and my unfinished story hasn’t been continued for so long. Although I’ve written a few pages I still haven’t got it right. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do with it, its slowly turning into some sort of a novel. Haaay.

Well what else am I up to. The applicant’s formal interview just finished yesterday, and I must say that their interview was a little bit easier than mine. After all they’ll only be grilled for one hour, while I was grilled for one and a half. And even if I didn’t get a chance to panel at the other stations, feel ko nahirapan sila sa station ko kasi wala talagang tamang sagot.

And I’m glad that the little issues that have popped up regarding the applicants are now cleared, although I’m not really sure of the repercussions of the events last Saturday, although I’m having a positive outlook.

Speaking of positive outlooks, I’m not saying it’s completely hopeless but I can’t help but be pessimistic with regards to my 131 and 132 classes. I’m having a feeling that what Mam Gene said about having mistakes about the UPCAT passers of batch 2003 is true.

Oh well, I’m not really in the mood to write anything, I’m not really overly happy nor overly sad, so I’ll just stick with this lame entry instead. Although I’m having such a large craving for sushi and siomai. Delish!

     My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I, got out of bed at all.

Malaming na yung kape ko, kahit gising ako tinatamad akong maligo. Such a dreary day.

     The morning rainclouds out my window, and I can’t see at all. And even if I could it’ll all be grey

Makulimlim nanaman, pero kahit na, sadyang pasawaya ko, di ko dadalhin yung payong ko. Di ko naman gusto yung kulay nun eh, saka di na kasya sa bag ko.

     but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad

Pero meron naman sigurong magandang kaganapang mangyayari sa araw na ito, baka ngayung araw na to nakaschedule yung hidden blessing ko.

     I drank too much last night got bills to pay. My head just feels in pain.

Nakakadepress yung 132 take home exam kahapon. Sa ganun na lang ba ako nareduce, cramming? Ayoko ng ganun nakakainis, bakit kasi ang tamad ko. Naka tatlong advil ako kahapon, di naman gumana, drugs na ata kelangan ko. Gusto ko nang umiyak, kaso bawal mag-ingay sa tambayan eh, may interview sa candidates

     I missed the bus and there’ll be hell today, I’m late for work again. And even if I’m there they’ll all imply, that I might not last the day

Malelate ako dapat kanina, kaya ayun napaFX ako. Dumoble tuloy yung pamasahe na nagastos ko. Buti na lang gasgasero yung driver, sakto 9am andun ako. Nakuha ko pa ung calcu ko. Pero nagpalate pa rin ako, para di matawag sa recitation.

     And then you called me and it’s not so bad, its not so bad.

Buti na lang pagod si sir, di ako masyadong binargas, kahit nagpapalpitate na ko habang tinatanong nya ako.

     And I, want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my lifeOh, just to be with you, is giving me the best day of my life.

buti na lang nakita ko sya, kahit sa malayo lang. Di naman sya lumalapit sakin eh. Ok na siguro masaya na ko dun.

My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I, got out of bed at all.

Malaming na yung kape ko, kahit gising ako tinatamad akong maligo. Such a dreary day.

The morning rainclouds out my window, and I can’t see at all. And even if I could it’ll all be grey

Makulimlim nanaman, pero kahit na, sadyang pasawaya ko, di ko dadalhin yung payong ko. Di ko naman gusto yung kulay nun eh, saka di na kasya sa bag ko.

but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad

Pero meron naman sigurong magandang kaganapang mangyayari sa araw na ito, baka ngayung araw na to nakaschedule yung hidden blessing ko.

I drank too much last night got bills to pay. My head just feels in pain.

Nakakadepress yung 132 take home exam kahapon. Sa ganun na lang ba ako nareduce, cramming? Ayoko ng ganun nakakainis, bakit kasi ang tamad ko. Naka tatlong advil ako kahapon, di naman gumana, drugs na ata kelangan ko. Gusto ko nang umiyak, kaso bawal mag-ingay sa tambayan eh, may interview sa candidates

I missed the bus and there’ll be hell today, I’m late for work again. And even if I’m there they’ll all imply, that I might not last the day

Malelate ako dapat kanina, kaya ayun napaFX ako. Dumoble tuloy yung pamasahe na nagastos ko. Buti na lang gasgasero yung driver, sakto 9am andun ako. Nakuha ko pa ung calcu ko. Pero nagpalate pa rin ako, para di matawag sa recitation.

And then you called me and it’s not so bad, its not so bad.

buti na lang nakita ko sya, kahit sa malayo lang. Di naman sya lumalapit sakin eh. Ok na siguro masaya na ko dun.

And I, want to thank you, for giving me the best day of my lifeOh, just to be with you, is giving me the best day of my life.