Blah etc. and everything else

This is a recipe I got from fifth grade; I remember this tasting very good and earning a lot of praise form the judge teachers. I’ve been looking for this recipe for a long time actually, and when my dad started cleaning the storage area he found the book that contained it. Now I’m posting it here so I don’t lose it again. Hehe and hopefully whip up a batch that tasted just as good as it did when I was in fifth grade.

But if I remember correctly, we did a lot of tweaking that time. Anyway here’s the recipe.

MORNAY EGGS

Ingredients

2 oz. Butter or Margarine

1tbsp onion finely chopped

4 pcs eggs (hard cooked)

2 oz mushroom (chopped)

1 oz Flour

½ pint Milk

2 oz Cheddar Cheese

green peas

Procedure

Egg Stuffing

1. Melt half the butter or margarine in a saucepan, and then add the onions and mushrooms. Cook until soft. Add salt and pepper to taste.
2. Halve the eggs lengthwise and remove the yolks and mash.
3. Stir the mashed yolks into the mushroom mixture. Stuff this into the eggs.

Cream topping

1. Melt the remaining butter and then add the flour.
2. Stir in the milk while bringing to a boil and simmer for one minute. Season with salt and pepper.
3. Stir in the cheese until it melts.
4. Let the sauce cool and pour over the eggs.
5. Garnish with peas.

This other recipe I just invented earlier. My mom wasn’t sure what to do with the shrimp so I decided to do a little controlled cooking experiment. It turned out great.

Ingredients

2 tbsp chopped garlic

3 tbsp chopped onions

2 medium sized kalamansi

4 pcs Large Shrimp (around 4 inches in length with head)

Salt and pepper to taste

4 tbsp Butter

1. Skin the shrimp. Remove all traces of Shell.
2. Cut the shrimp lengthwise without fully separating the pieces.
3. Cut crosswise into smaller pieces
4. Season with salt pepper and the juice of one kalamansi.
5. Melt the butter over low heat on a pan. Before all the butter melts add the garlic.
6. After a few seconds add the onion and let stand for about a minute.
7. Add the shrimp and cook until orange and tender.
8. You could add a sprig of chopped young onion to taste, and for looks.

Wahahahaha I’ve been obsessed with food because my parents won’t be around for three weeks and I’m going to have to fend for myself; probably the same reason why my Dad’s forcing me to go to the market to buy ingredients and cook the food. Well maybe I’ll have to live off hotdogs for three weeks, or these two recipes. Hehehe

- It seems I’ve matured more in this sem than I’ve matured during any other moment in my life.

.

- Thoughts indeed leave deeper scarring than most anything else.

.

- Why is it that I feel there’s something that people aren’t telling me? As if they’re talking behind my back…. I hate that.

.

- Overdue na yung backstab saken, kelan kaya dadating, just get it over with para tapos na.

.

- Nakakainis talaga ang mga fair-weather friends, bakit kaya sila ganun?

.

- Papayat pa kaya ako? Bwiset naman kasi ang mga tempting chocolates eh.

.

-Mabibili ko kaya itong flash drive na to?   Astig kasi to eh, may fingerprint scanner sya so hindi sya magagamit ng mga taong di karapat-dapat. 79 dollars lang, so around 4,500 ang cost. gusto ko nito, pagiipunan ko toh!

.

.

.

.

- Makikita ko pa kaya ung battery cover ng mp3 player ko? Pag di ko nakita yun tas mei ipon na ako bibili ako ng bago, ito oh,  cute sya its 1 square inch in size, in short, one inch on all sides, diba ang cute? Its called MobiBLU. 1 gig memory, FM radio, USB rachargable battery, LED display, simulated surround sound, voice recording, lahat ng meron s former mp3 player ko, except wla syang removable memory and battery. Basta bibilhin ko to, $130 bwiset, kaya yan

.

.

- Bibili kaya ako ng Pilates ball? Naku baka di ko nanaman magamit, kasi jogging na lang mas feel ko yun, samahan nyo na kasi ako.

.

-Kung magsalita ako parang ang dami kong pera, kelan kaya ako yayaman?

I found a spa up in Quezon Ave.that gives massages for only Php 350!! Now all I need is a spa buddy, preferably after enrollment! This is gonna be sooo great! I know, and I think most of my friends know that I really need a break, that spa is heavensent1 I read it at Sense and Style Magazine, the mag I write part time at.

Anyway its been what, more than three days since I made an entry, and as much as I’d want to continue blog-fasting, I can’t hahahaha. I got too used to pouring my guts out online.

What else? Uhm, I seem to have a knack for attracting guys with girlfriends, the worst of it was me attracting a guy who actually has a wife and a kid. EEEW! He’s like my age but well y’know he knocked somebody up, and here he is asking me out on a date, I mean WTF, I’m not that kind of girl dude.

There’s also this other guy, he’s a friend’s boyfriend, and he’s like soo moving in on me, ano ba! Mahiya ka naman! You know who you are, and I am most certain that you’re reading this. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I have a girlfriend.”

Yesterday I went to the Manila Bulletin Office in Intramuros to get my paycheck, since there were no more FX’s me and my friend had to ride the jeep, and if I took out the eyes of every guy, jeepney driver, bum, etc. who Psssted me, or who called out Hi to me and my friend a lot of guys would be blind by now. There was even this old guy who kept staring at me, eeew.

Forever na lang bang may sisitsit sakin, of course sometimes flattering sya pag gwapo ung nagpapapansin, pero heller naman, jeepney drivers! Todo, di na nahiya, uuugh, kung di lang ako edukada, binulag ko na yun.

Actually I’m planning on buying pepper spray for just those types of people, I’d probably use up a whole can in one week.

Well enough about stupid, horrid, I want them to die, men.

Up to yesterday, my social life was pretty dormant, aside from a few online conversations with some school friends, my life is basically friendless. Anyway, early this morning, I got about four invitations for tomorrow, to go shopping, to  go to an old friend’s house and hang, watch a practice and school hop for an org activity, and I cancelled all of them (*tears) and all for what, a stupid visit to an aunt’s place. Not that I don’t want to see my cousins and all, but well I haven’t seen my High School buds that much either.

Speaking of High School buds, have you had that feeling as if the friends that you thought would be there with you forever suddenly left you hanging on air, and then the people that caught you were the most unlikely ones?

Its so hard to trust people these days, I’m not sure who to trust with what anymore.

Damn, sabi ko di ako mageemote eh

Aaaargghhh! 9 units lang ang nakuha ko sa CRs, then the other 9 units that I’ll have to get are, Math 55, Es 26, and ES 11, the hardest subjects to enlist, ever! GrrRRrr, pag minamalas ka nga naman.

To sum it all up, two of my editors aren’t replying to my queries tungkol sa sweldo, nyak tinakbuhan na ata ako, wag naman sana, kelangan ko yung perang yun. *sniff.

Haaay buhay baboy ulet, sem break na kasi. Oh well at least mas productive itong sem break na ito kaysa sa previous ones ko. At least itong break na to, eh nakakaraket ako. Haaay pero kulang pa ren, gustuhin ko mang magtrabaho ng magtrabaho, nadidistract pa rin ako, kasi naman kasi si “Guy” eh, pasaway, don’t you get tired of running through my mind all day? Yak bitter na nagsesenti, kaya kumokorny eh.

.

Anyway, ang dami kong craving recently, puro hard to find pa, well sa paligid-ligid dito mahirap makita, kasi naman, ang mga cravings ko, triple stuffed crust super supreme pan pizza ng Pizza hut, Black Forest cake ng Red Ribbon, Siomai at Sushi, san kaya ako kukuha nun dito samen? Nakakatamad namang pumunta ng SM mag-isa para lang dun, kaya ito tinitiis na lang. Pero pag bumalik ako sa UP pramis isa dun bibilhin ko, or lahat para masaya.

.

Namimiss ko na ung tropa ko dito sa bahay, di na ko nakakatambay, nung isang araw ang lakas ng ulan, lahat sila naligo, take note upper teens and lower 20’s na ang mga tropa ko, at Maynila ito, heheheh ok lang kasi looban naman dito.

.

Namimiss ko na rin ang Simbang gabi. 2x ko na syang nakukumpleto, ever since grade four, nagsisimbang gabi kami ng mga childhood friends ko, hehe kung kelan college na ako dun ko lang nakumpleto.

.

Namimiss ko na rin sila yocs, tere, berns, mich, zsa, kendi, nuqui, allan, William ,jeny, jena, aya, ronwald, sir caro, jep, lahat ng mga katoka ko sa ACP at sa Laco, miss na miss na, lalo na ung mga kagaguhan at kaungasan nung high school. Tama nga yung mga nagrereminisce na teacher nung High school tayo, nakakamiss tlaga ang freedom at ang carelessness. Pano di ko pa nafifeel ma-in-love nung HS, problema ko lang nun eh kung articles sa The Word, yung COCC ko na binuburaot ni **, yung mga chika tungkol sa crush, haaay those were the days.

.

Nakakamiss din yung mga larong Chinese, patintero, bang-sak, football, mataya-taya, go-stop.

.

Ang tanda ko na pala.

.

Ako na yung tigaturo ng mga laro, minsan tiga kwento pa sa mga bata tungkol sa good old days. Yung mga bata kasi ngayon puro arcade ang alam, puro lalaki pa, kaya hindi nila nalalaro yung bangko-bangkuhan at tindatindahan.

.

Haaay ang sarap maging naïve, unaware at fancy free.

.

Kala ko nun kaya kong gawin lahat, pero heto ko ngayon, para bang nawala yung tinutungtungan ko.

.

Gusto ko nang pumasok, para madistract na ko ng studies ko.

.

Nakita ko pala si Fafa Keith kanina.

.

He’s as handsome as ever, crush ko pa rin sya, longest running crush ko na, at sya lang ang crush ko na alam na crush ko sya, at alam kong alam nyang crush ko sya, at kahit alam kong alam nyang crush ko sya, crush ko pa rin sya… gets?

.

Haaay natutuwa ako kei Berns, di ko naexpect na makakapagshare ako sakanya, salamat Berns, sayo ko unang navoice out yung kei “Guy.” Salamat at mahilig ka ring magpuyat sa  YM tulad ko, di k tlaga naexpect na may mapagsasabihan akong lalaki tungkol dun.

.

Salamat din kay Dianne, kasi natitiis nya ako kahit puro “Guy” and bukambibig ko, hehehe kahit may sariling heart problems sya, sinasalo pa rin yung akin, salamat Dianne.

.

Kay Irv den na kahit nasa, san nga ba yun? Basta ibang bansa, nageemail pa ren, samantalang ung mga nasa Pilipinas, tawag lang di pa makaya, sem break naman.

.

Kay Helen na nagintroduce saken ng racketeering, salamat pare, may panggastos na ko! Pagaling ka ha.

.

Kay Lyn na iniintindi ang kadelinkwentehan ko sa ES 21.

.

Sa org-mates na hindi nangjujudge kahit delinkwente ako.

.

Kay Lynius na ang laki ng tiwala saken.

.

Sa mga tropa sa bahay na kahit anong sama ko mataas pa rin ang tingin sakin.

.

Haaay ang hirap ng nagsesenti, parang hindi ako, pero sabi nga ni Berns, ang mga taong masaya, sobra kung umiyak, or something like that. Oo nga ang hirap pala pag nasanay kang masaya tas biglang lulungkot.

.

Kelan kaya to matatapos?

.

Sanamalapit na, baka di ko na kayanin.

.

I end this entry with a quote from the ALCHEMES logbook, “HOY! Mahalin mo naman ako!… L*ch* ka!” Hehehe

Haaay, once again I lay witness to my incredible predicting ability, and indeed here I am, reaping that which I’ve sown, a failing grade in math 55.

It seems I am forever doomed to stay in mathematical ignorance, to remain a dunce in integration and differentiation, and I call myself a UP student.

Maybe this road that I’ve chosen to take wasn’t the one that God paved for me; maybe this decision to pursue a career of plant design and overseeing wasn’t the career for which I was destined to be great.

I’ve written those friggin three paragraphs three times already! And right now I’m not really in the mood to skulk anymore, it seems I’m not allowed to say bad things about my plans on being a chemical engineer, and miraculously enough, my computer hasn’t hung yet…

Cool…

Maybe that’s God’s way of saying “Mau, why don’t you try again and see what happens?”

And so now I’m saying “OK, God, I trust you, just don’t ruin my pc trying to send me the message ok?”

So now that I have a so-so trust in continuing my pursuit of a career in chemical Engineering, I’ve got nothing else to post in this friggin blog. Personally, grunge and how the world has been so hard on you kind of posts has been, well, a “has been”, it is so not interesting anymore.

Now I realized that I’m not the only one, with all the problems, the emotional capabilities and writing time to produce an almost daily blow by blow on how crappy each day has been.

But if you’ve been having the days I’ve had I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s an all around crap buffet.

Speaking of crap, that’s exactly what I’m supposed to look for right now, crap pictures. Well I decided to help the externals committee at ALCHEMES with a project they’ve coined the roadshow, which aims to introduce high-school students to the Environmental branch of Chemical Engineering. And we need pictures for the flash presentation.

And I am really, soooooo glad to be doing something aside from sulk and contemplate on how crappy my life is. If I hadn’t posted anything about it yet, well I’ve tried to distract myself from this certain something that’s been buzzing inside my mind for ages, by focusing on work, editing my profile, writing entries for my blog, well let’s just say it hasn’t been very effective.

Now I’m kinda hoping that this, can do for me what the other activities I’ve chosen to do will, distract me long enough to actually have some fun.

Anyway, speaking of fun, it seems I’ll be having a lot of it on the two weeks following the 19^th of November, whoohoooo! My parents are going to the

U.S.

and I, for most of the time, will be left alone in the house.. Whooohooo drinking parties all around!! Well at least until my eldest sister comes home and ruins everything.

Anyway, my Dad opened a savings account for me, (believe it or not, I haven’t had any type of bank account until this) so he could just deposit my allowance there. Why post about this? Wala lang masaya lang ako, kasi yung maintaining balance na P5,000 eh sya ang magproprovide, and at least my editors won’t have to deposit my sweldo to my parent’s account, and I wont have to ask them every so often if the deposit has registered yet.

And to top that up, (I wish my happy moments will be less trivial than these, but this is all that I’ve got going right now) I’ve got a new credit card extension! From my sister of course, although she requires me to pay whatever it is that I charge, at least I get to spend, yet again, more than I can. Bwahahah, it’s a good feeling, you’d better try it out, although I highly discourage overdoing it.

Well I’m up to 650+ words so I’d better stop, ciao!

“… thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else.”

    - quoted from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 38: The Second War Begins.

Makes you want to have a handy bottle of Dr. Ubbly’s Oblivious Unction.

I’ve read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for, who knows how many times, and that line never stood out more to me than it does now. Of course it was some bit of good, for a lack of a better word, advice; but really who would remember that one among all the other witty remarks that J.K. Rowling has inserted in the now six book Harry Potter Series.

Its funny how we discourage emotionality and put if off as cliché and corny, but deep inside we all have that weak spot, that part of us that reveals itself in the wee hours of the night, when we are left to our thoughts, alone, with no one to criticize or judge us.

Why is it that all of that pent up emotion only gets released either when we are overly drunk, or else overly traumatized?

Well, we were all raised to be strong, to fight, not to give in, and has being emotional been synonymous to that? Can’t people see how much effort, and bravery it takes to actually express your true feelings, or admit your mistakes, or praise your enemy?

Or do we all see it but choose to ignore it?

I for one have chosen to ignore it, as a good friend told me last night, for the good of all those involved, maybe it is indeed better to just ignore the things that they won’t know about anyway. It’ll feel like hell but at least nobody else is getting hurt right?

I could really use a gulp of that Oblivious Unction right now.

Whew, it’s finally over, its finally done, I’m finally a member of UP ALCHEMES, and best app to boot! Whoohooo. The two day “ceremony” started at 6 o’clock in the morning with an exhaustingly fun version of “The Amazing Race” around UP, forcing me and my group-mates to, walk from Vinzon’s Hall to the Checkpoint area, although I can’t say I enjoyed much of it, I lost 3 pounds on the other day’s fasting, no eating, just drinking and walking a lot activity so its not a total loss. (I weighed myself right after I came home)

Although I can’t say too much about what actually happened, it’s all supposed to be “confidential” so the next applicants won’t know what to expect. Anyway we ended the hellish night with a shout of “UP ALCHEMES Make a difference, break free” and a jump into the pool. Afterwards we lighted candles and recited the oath, and proceeded to some kickass drinking!

Well, the others we’re kickass drinkers, I can’t say much about myself because I only remember patches of what happened. Weheheheh, I haven’t had that much to drink since Yocbu’s birthday. Well that is if you measure everything in terms of ethanol intake. The brandy was 35% alcohol, I drank a bottle of San Mig light which is about 4% alcohol. I don’t know how much brandy I took, I just drank anything anyone gave me, maybe someone gave me rufees. Joke! I do remember swinging, on a swing, if that makes any sense, and when I slept I could still feel the swinging sensation. Hehehe

I woke up with a bad hangover, well not as bad as my first one (that was only my second hangover) just one tablet of Advil and I could cope, and we played poker until about 11:45am, and then it was time to go home, which is something I did not do immediately, we hung over at the Tambayan, or the “Lounge” as Halley likes it to be called, and sort of “recharged”, meaning we sat there doing nothing finding the energy to actually go back to our homes after the exhausting activities the day before.

Oh and yeah, the first paragraph is just two sentences. Bwahahahah

Naivette is such sweet vomit. To tell the truth I’d take old sour vomit anytime. Bleh what a waste of entirely good internet time, I’ve been writing professionally for 10 years, (who cares!) and I’m 16 years old (naïve girl!) I absolutely love writing (Ulp! )

I wish I was still that naïve; sixteen is after all that point in my life when I though everything I did was right and the whole world was wrong. Not to rain on the girl’s party, but unlike most of us who weren’t born with a silver quill in our hands, our dads didn’t publish magazines before we were born giving us the opportunity to publish an article at age six!

But I do envy her though, not many get that opportunity, which brings us to the topic of struggling writers. While most people, me included, would like to throw the damn pen and pick up the sword and start killing people, we can’t, why? Well aside from the fact that we’ll get into jail, there’s not much choice is there?

At least I’m still studying Chemical Engineering, and will (hopefully) finish in the next two years and (hopefully) make a career out of it. I have an alternative, but what about the other struggling writers who’ve run out of opportunities and now end up as either tele-marketers, networking failures, call center zombies, (most engineering students end up like that too) low paid writers or worse, PTs. (Professional Tambays)

Sometimes I wish that I didn’t learn that the world was unfair, that I just stayed in my protected childhood bliss, that I’ll always be as naïve as that sixteen year old girl, who one day would realize that she’s got it so good at sixteen she should have decided not to grow up, but then again who doesn’t?

Not that I don’t support our young artists, go go go, uplift the Filipino spirit and all that, but I think I’m past all of that patriotism stuff, that was before I learned that earning money was hard work, (hehehe) and scraping a living wasn’t as easy as I thought it would.

Created: 1am, October 12, 2005

I’m tired, I feel sick, my stomach feels like its going to turn inside out anytime soon. I have a deadline at 12am for 200, 15-40 word, tips and another three, 700 word, articles at  10 am

.

My eyes feel like they’re filled with lead, my butt hurts from the extended sitting, I’m filled with junk food, I’ve ingested enormous amounts of caffeine, its 1am, I ran out of internet card and I’m on the verge of tears trying to find some who’ll loan me theirs long enough to send my 1 hour overdue article to my editor, and did I mention I feel sick?

.

I don’t really think I’m cut out for this writing stuff; I might as well throw it out the window. I would have done that, long ago, if only….

.

But what can I do? I get good money out of it, not that I earn a lot, but doing this writing gig has given me my single source of reliable income, without the hassle of having to go to an office, not to mention it (almost) not affecting my studies.

.

At least I get to buy what I want, and save up for things I might want someday, right?

.

Then why am I so miserable?

.

I’m not used to writing at will, writing’s not like that, you’re supposed to do that when you’re inspired, or in the mood. But writer’s block isn’t an option in the kind of gigs I’m taking. In this fast paced, low income world, if you don’t work fast you get nothing, well that’s the story with the types of writing assignments I’m getting.

.

Yeah, it’s good to say that I’ve earned this and that through my own hard work, but as the people at pinoywriters said when someone advertised my gig at their forum, a writer’s efforts is worth a lot more than that. And I quite agree, in this sentence, I mean quite as very.

.

Did you know that quite can be used as a synonym for both the words slight and very?

.

I’m drifting again.

.

I hate the fact that friendster blogs don’t allow line breaks and I’ve got to put periods in between paragraphs just so my paragraphs are properly separated. One thing I won’t forget from my Creative Writing teacher, was what she said about the line spacing. She said it when we printed out each other’s work for peer review. She said something like you can decrease the font size, the margins, but don’t delete the line breaks between each paragraph, line breaks are there for pauses, it means the author wants to create a pocket of time for you to think about what you just read before going on to the next, and I hate friendster for removing the opportunity for that pocket of time.

.

Drifting, drifting.

.

I wish people didn’t encourage me, I wish I didn’t take that writing exam for “The Word” back in first year high-school, I wish I didn’t go to that essay writing contest, or the DSSPC, then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have discovered that I had a knack for putting words together. That’s just it right?  Putting words together to make them comprehensible?… Bleh, anybody can do that, so why me?

.

I never really believed I can write; when I read my own work, it all feels so, normal, unlike when I read articles appearing on magazines and such. I’ve never had the decency to proofread my work, you’ll see that when you read the heading of this blog, or any post on this blog for that matter. So why am I still here?

.

600 words, I’m on a roll here. Writers are very low paid, most of them take low paying jobs, (like the one I have, although I don’t consider myself as a writer)but being a writer sort of has its privileges. Being branded a pseudo-intellectual, or even a celebrity (when you get published) has its perks, but it looses its flair in the long run.

.

Before the emergence of Sex and the City, most people usually viewed writers as boring people spending time in front of computers, look at Clark Kent in Superman. Carey Bradshaw’s role in Sex and the City lifted the writer’s character, making her out to be a stylish intellectual.

.

Well, I’m no Carey Bradshaw, and I sure as hell am not a Clark Kent, at least Clark had a Superman alter-ego.

.

Well if you were expecting some life or decision changing anti-thesis to everything I just said, you won’t find it here, maybe in future posts, when I become more fulfilled with what I do, but for now, not yet. And since I haven’t accepted that I’m a writer, I won’t necessarily follow the rules of writing, leaving you with this hanging ending with no closing paragraph.

Wala lang, may pinsagutan kasi sakin ung isa kong friend, panfil 19 ito, wala natuwa lang ako sa mga sinulat ko. FYI medjo feministically inclined ako.

.

It is important that we, as students of a state University, the University of the Philippines no less, study the topic of sexuality in literature in the Philippine context, because aside from the fact that every Filipino should know about her own traditions and culture, each one of us are somehow affected or intrigued by this topic and should somehow be enlightened of it, for our own better understanding.

The study of sexuality is a very obscure subject, mostly only taken by students because of its connotation as a sex education class. Sexuality is something that is not commonly discussed in Filipino tradition, being somewhat conservative, every Filipino child is discouraged from talking about his or her sexuality in public and is restricted to talking about it with friends who are no more knowledgeable, and therefore end up with misleading knowledge regarding the subject.

This “false’ knowledge can lead to adverse effects like homosexually  inclined individuals disregarding their self respect and freedom in exchange for acceptance from society. By studying sexuality, this understanding of homosexuality can open up the mind of the said individual and let him/her accept herself as who he/she is, and in turn can also inform the society that, in first place,, was the one who put him/her in hiding from his/her own sexuality.

The study of sexuality doesn’t necessarily mean the promotion of homosexuality, but rather its acceptance. This is also leads to the acceptance of those we call masochistic or feministic. It cannot be denied that these type of people exist and are forever fighting for what they think is true, the study of sexuality helps society understand as well as accept the fact that these types of things happen and we as free people have all the right to be homosexual or feministic or whatever.

Sexuality goes hand in hand with literature, and many might also agree that almost everything goes hand in hand with literature, because it is through literature, and just recently mass media, that information is relayed to other people. Literature has been part of our history for a long time and has since given us a way to communicate with other people long after we are gone from this world, literature shows the past, present and would be future of everything, and is therefore a good vehicle for relaying one’s message and in the case of sexuality, the messages of those who are in tune with theirs.