Blah etc. and everything else

Well Jules was right, it is hard to think of what to write when you’re not sad or extremely happy, and currently, I’m kind of pseudo happy, pseudo sad, in the middle actually. (Pseudo is my word for the month, I like the way it sounds, deal with it!)

Anyway, I had this web content, ghostwriting stint, which forced me to write around 93 tips on blogging, and although most of them came from me based on experience (naks) a part is credited to the ever wonderful internet, which hasn’t yet failed me on a research project.

So, for pure ethics, and to prevent hypocrisy on my part, I am now falling one of those 93 tips, which more or less sounds like, if you can’t think of anything to post, why not post about not being able to think about anything to post? And that’s just what I’m doing, blabbering.

It seems my daily barrage of posts last week has indeed slowed down, maybe because I’m feeling better. I’ve been posting nothing but grunge the past few days, and although it makes for a lot of content, it’s not really interesting isn’t it? I mean only Helen reads it.

I don’t know, maybe the Goth stuff became so overwhelming, that it sort of followed the laws of gravity, what goes up, must come down, and the depression level has indeed gone down, but not to nothingness really, I think I need a few more of that Caesar salad. (Note to self: Buy one liter of Caesar salad dressing)

Now as a follow through for my tip following self, I’d like to execute another one of the tips that I wrote, which is a bit like, If you want interesting, traffic boosting posts, post about controversies and conspiracy theories. I absolutely love conspiracy theories; although I can’t think of anything in particular right now that I’d want to share, or anything that I have a broad knowledge on.

Here goes the conspiracy stuff

So I was thinking about computer viruses. Someone told me as joke once that the people who develop the antivirus programs that we use are the same people that create viruses. I actually, sometimes believe this, just think, they can even collaborate with computer hardware manufacturers, and make viruses that can destroy hardware, that way, both their program, as well as the hardware producer’s products get sold. It’s actually a great system if you think about it, unlimited profits!

Another is the absolutely constant “increase in content” of today’s shampoo and conditioner brands. It seems all I’m seeing are big sachets and large signs saying XX% more! It’s actually absurd considering that all prices are going up. I have the feeling they’re just diluting it, so it’ll look like it’s more but really isn’t

How about those whitening soaps and creams and lotions that most Filipinas are using now? A retired chemical engineer said to me a few months ago, that although there are regulation concentrations for whitening agents in lotions, soaps and creams here in the Philippines, manufacturers, most of the time, as much as double these amounts so that customers will see faster results and buy more. This is good, aside from the fact that whitening agents are Cancerous!

I wrote this, because, i don’t know, i just felt like, we’ve all been blaming each other for mistakes that are sometimes unavoidable. I think we should all learn to give each other some slack, everyone has things ont heir mind that can make them for get or fall short.

Stupidity

by: Maureen Hernandez

Stupidity

Is innate in everyone

We all need

A time to lose ourselves

A time to forget

A time to not think

To make mistakes

Nobody’s perfect

We all commit error

Why beat ourselves up?

We are imperfect

We sin we fall short

Why beat each other up?

We’re caught up

In perfection

We forget

All are fallible

     Ok I’m slightly pissed, because I wrote a whole entry a little earlier and i kinda erased it, accidentally! GRRRR!

     But no matter, I’ll just write a new one.

     So I think I’m finally over my slump, its instant actually. Monday was one of my all time lows, you can tell by my entry last monday . But yesterday, I got to talk to Berns, yesterday, problematic din kasi sya, I posted part of it on my entry yesterday. Anyway, after he read my comment, and after my very long text sakanya, we got to talking, and we did something we haven’t done in a while. (Uy ikaw iba iniisip mo ha!) Hehe we laughed, at ourselves. Thats what i liked about my friends from LAco, when we come to a point where there is little hope, we laugh. Autistic noh?

     I figured its better to laugh than to cry, at least at some points, sabi nga dun sa Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, there is a time for everything.

     Natutuwa ako when I remember yung times, na sobrang hopeless na yung situation naming magkakaibigan, natatawa na lang kami. Sometimes kasi, its better to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your mistake, know that there’s nothing more you can do, that you did everyhting that you could, laugh at yourself, and then try not to do it again.

     And yun yung ginawa namin ni Berns, although pinagtatawanan ko pa rin ang sarili ko after naming mag-usap, di ako nahiya sa sarili ko, ako yun eh. Wierd no?

     And I woke up this morning to a lighter heart, which continued to an even lighter day, I don’t know what it was about this day pero magaan ang feeling ko, kahit hell week na, today, nawala yung pressure sakin. Siguro dahil nalaman kong take home na lang ang exams sa ChE 32, at siguro dahil na rin sa hindi kami nagklase nung afternoon sa ChE. Siguro nakaganda rin yung hindi muna ako tumambay sa tambayan, ewan ko, kasi pag asa tambayan ako, ang saya saya ko, kaso pagdaitng ko sa bahay nalulungkot ako, wierdo tlaga.

     Anyway, because i had a pocket of time, I thought since my day was going so well, I’d treat myself. And hulaan nyo kung nao ang ginawa ko? Una ang iniisip ko, magpapahotoil ako then magpapafacial ako, haaay, pero I said to myself gastos lang yun, and besides, di pa kasya yung pera ko ngaun, di pa sumusweldo. Waheheh

     So I bought the foods that I’ve been dying to buy this past few weeks. And no, its not choclates or sweets or potato chips or whatever, kahit na meron akong chocolate craving last time, di chocolates and binili ko. Here is the list of what I bought sa supermarket kanina:

2 cans tuna flakes in oil (low fat)
1 head of lettuce
200 gms Mozarella Cheese (low fat)
10 packs Plain crackers (Sky Flakes)
236ml Caesar Salad Dressing

     In short, health food ang binili ng lola mo, except probably dun sa Caesar salad dressing, dapt EVOV ang bibilin ko (extra virgin olive oil) kaso hindi ko naman trip yun hehehe.

     So in short, kumain lang ako ng ceasar salad ala mau, which consists of plain crackers, ceasar salad dressing, lettuce and grated mozarella cheese. Masarap sya! todo, parang yung perfect day ko, kahit di masyadong umuulan, at kahit wla ako sa middle ng forest, at kahit nabasa ko na ang Harry Potter and the Half blood Prince na binabasa ko kanina, ok lang, sabi nga nila, di mo marereacha ng perfection, you can only approach it, at masaya na ko sa closeness to perfection ng araw na ito.

     Plus pagdating pa ni mama, may uwi syang sushi! Ang sarap! Buhay baboy nanaman ako! Nawala ang bigat actually. Kasi pag chocolates and kinakain ko, ang sinasabi nilang nakakapagpasayang food, eh parang mas na-sasad ako. But when I at healthy, ang sarap ng feeling, wla kasing guilt. Hehehe Later i plan to eat my other invention, tuna flakes with cracekrs and mozarella cheese. Basically papaikut-ikutin ko lang ung binili kong food kanina. Haaay

     And where does guy come in? Wala! Bwahaha Goodby, pinalitan na kita ng isda at gulay!

     It’s nice to be back, to being happy go-lucky again, di kasi ako sanay na di ako masaya. Malamang sa mga tao around me, mukhang di ako nalulungkot, kaso mas matagal ko kasing kasama ang sarili ko kaysa sainyo eh, kaya di nyo kita, its good na masaya ako inside as well as outside. Thanks talaga kay God, heheh napakalaki ng tulong nya. Sa mga friends na rin, na todo support, kay Helen, Berns at Lynius, nakaktuwa kayong tatlo, kahit pare-pareho taung sawi eh, nagtutulungan pa rin.

Ok so today was a lighter day. I didn’t feel as sad, or as lonely as I was the previous days. Suffice it to say that everything that happened today made me forget, for most of the time, the worries I’ve been carrying the previous days.

Today was a Tuesday; I only had two subjects, thank God. So after attending my classes I had to go to Tondo Medical Center, the hospital where my mom worked in, to undergo a very painful procedure. Well I’m exaggerating, it wasn’t very painful because I was injected with Lidocaine, it’s a local anesthetic, meaning it only removes feeling on the part where it was injected. Anyway, so the procedure’s pain was all in my mind, but at least it took my mind of most of the things. But later in the day we had a batch gimmick, for the applicants, of ALCHEMES this sem. So all in all, after my class I went to Tondo Manila, underwent the procedure, and then went back to UP to attend the batch gimmick.

What did 32 people do during a batch gimmick? Without money and food? Simple, we went back to our younger years, I swear most of us was a few days younger afterwards. We played concentration then after everybody was eliminated, we went home. Hehe well it was raining so we couldn’t play patintero.

After the batch gimmick, I went home with Cany (Ronnie Caniel) and Arcy (Rochelle Cruz) two of my co-apps who has the same route home as I do,. In the long SM north line at Vinzon’s hall, what else do you do but talk, so we talked about things, where we lived, I really don’t remember where we we’re when Cany told me that a few of his relatives lived just a few meters from where I do. I couldn’t believe it, hehehe. He said he used to live near the place where I and my friends used to go, it was a playground. We were actually thinking we were once playmates, a long long time ago at that playground. So after the aaahs and oohs, knowing, that we used to live near each other but never really realized that each existed until we applied for ALCHEMES, (gasp) it was so funny that we had so many coincidences.
But wait there’s more. So when I found out that he lived in Baesa, I asked him if he knew any Hernandezs, a branch of my family lives there. You see my grandfather has another family that lives there, so I asked him if he knew anyone with the same last name as me, maybe they’re my relatives or something. I actually asked it as a joke, never really expected an answer. He didn’t have any Hernandez neighbors, but what he had was a Hernandez Teacher, and guess what, his teacher was none other than one of my 1^st cousins, Jennifer Hernandez. Whahahaha I still couldn’t believe it.

We were fazed through the trip, couldn’t really believe it was true, i haven’t asked ate Jeny yet though.

So the disbelief has lightened up my day, plus the fact that I got to play an old game with some new friends. At least my gloom has pulled back a few inches, now it’s gonna come back because tomorrow is ChE 32 day. SO I gotta go.

xcs

I just read my friend’s blog after writng this, and I thought I’d talk about it here. It seems he’s very sad, kasi nanganganib ang relationship nila ng GF nya. I sympathize with him, kasi masayahin sya tlga, naawa ako, kasi I can relate, mahal nya kasi ung girl. Narealize ko lang, ang dami namang taong sad ngaun, parang kumakalat sa friends ko, or kinakalatan nila ako, ng sadnaess, sana we can all get through this, so I leave a verse fromt he Bible, bigay sakin ni Jackie, mganda sya, simple pero malaman.

"There is a time for everyhting, and a season for every activity under heaven…

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…

A time to love and a  time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

                                                                - Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, 8

Ok, I’m finally able to update my blog! Whoo, And I’ve been through a lot this weekend. Funny thing is, I’m not in the mood to talk about any of it, I just simply want to forget it, everything, the emotional rollercoaster that I’ve been in since I realized that stupid fact.

I wish I just ignored it, I wish I just stayed in denial, at least I’d still be happy, and not depressed and drowned in self pity. It’s pathetic, I know I’m stronger than this, but why is it that, this sense of hopelessness is slowly engulfing me?

I may be over-reacting on the self pity part, but, anyway, it’s something that relates to the previous entry, about being surrounded with friends, and people, but feeling all alone. It’s not that the people around me are all insincere, I know they’re genuinely who they are, but still there’s something lacking, like Jules said, in his entry, there’s something missing,a nd although I doubt that whats missing in him is the same as what’s missing with me, I can still relate to what eh said. I’m uploading the song Missing by Evanescence in my profile, have a listen to it, it kinda speaks of what I currently feel.

And here’re the lyrics

"Missing"

Please, please forgive me,
But I won’t be home again.
Maybe someday you’ll look up,
And, barely conscious, you’ll say to no one:
"Isn’t something missing?"

You won’t cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant…?
Am I so insignificant…?
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

[Chorus:]
Even though I’m the sacrifice,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
Isn’t someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won’t be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?"

[Chorus]

And if I bleed, I’ll bleed,
Knowing you don’t care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I’ll wake without you there,
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t something…

[Chorus]

On Sheng’s Comments

First of all before I discuss the title, thanks muna kei SHENg! na laging may oras para basahin ang aking pagkahabahabang blog entries.

Cge grabe dude, baby tawag mo saken, creepy tau na!? Wahahahha matisak tau, ako isang girl na gustong magkaBF pero wlang nanliligaw, and ikaw isang girl na andaming nanliligaw pero ayaw magkaBF, kasi eh bigay mo na lang saken. Yak ako ba ito! Wahahah, oo jogging tau sa Sunday para lumabas naman ang endorphins ko at sumaya naman ang life ko.

Continuing my last Blog Entry: Formal interview part 2

Anyway about the interview, it just made my list of things I’d want to change if I could go back in time, I feel so stupid kasi dun sa mga sagot ko at sa mga ginawa ko dun, yak! Anyways, I wont go into details, sakin na lang at sa panel ko ung humiliation ko dun, YAK!

Ok so I finished my formal interview last tuesday, and guess what, I messed it up! Yak! Todo na ito, sabihin ba namang fault finder ka when hindi mo nakita ng mga faults sa sarili mong statements. Although Fault finder nga naman ako, kasi faults ang una kong nakikita bago ung good, and I admit it, minsan I’m like that talga eh, but it does good for me, especially on projects and stuff, I would be able to see the loopholes in my proposals before the teacher even asks them, well that was because I had time to ponder about the wrongs in my statement, unlike dun sa formal interview ko, I feel so stupid, and wag ka nakalimutan ko ung last name ng president nung org, yak! kakahiya, and sabog pa ung sinulat kong last name nya, wont dive into details too humiliating.

And ito pa, it was only later na I was told na talagang citatory nilang basin mo yung sagot mo, pagdo-doubtin ka nila, and ito ang lola mo, mega doubt, yak! ang dami kong iniba, I wish I could repeat it again, haaay, di bale babawi na lang ako sa tambay hours, waheheheh.

The Sassy Lawyer

Anyway I’ve come to read, "The Sassy Lawyer’s" blog, she’s one of the toppers in pinoy top blogs , which I recently joined, (kaya open nyo lang tong blog ko para tumaas ang ratings ko heheeh) and in fairness and ganda ng blog nya, may photo journal sya, and almost all of her posts are on politics, ang saya nga basahin eh, may opinion na (na reasonable at rational naman, lawyer sya eh) may news pa, isang tingin mo lang sa blog nya, di mo na kailangan manood ng news. Her other blog pinoy cook is the top one in the blog ranks. Wala lang natuwa kasi ako sa opinions nya, kasi pareho kami ng iniisip.

Good news Bad News (pasensya wala si Arn-arn)

I must be losing my touch, hindi ako nakapagpost nung times na sabog ako, like after the interview, pero ok na rin kasi, at least umiikli ung posts ko kasi nakakalimutan, or tinatry ko nang kalimutan ung mga details.

Anyway, from tuesday onwards, may good news naman, pero bad news muna. heheh nagpahula ako duns kay Jen, isa syang member ng ALCHEMES, yak, syempre nagpahula ang lola mo tungkol kay greater love, yak greater love! Well anyway wala di kami pwede may mahal na syang iba (tears!) oh well, at least I’m almost over you nah! erase na ung almost, wakekeke, so I’m back to my old, matador, mapangalaska self, which I think thankful ang mga friends ko, hehe sila na lang nakakalam nun.

Anyway another bad news, nanganganib na talaga ko sa Math 55! Yak! ano na ang aking gagawin!

Good news naman, may bago akong raket, I wrote tips part time around early June, and the woman who hired me then is hiring me again, although ghostwriting lang sya (hindi lalabas ang byline ko) for an online publication, ok lang hehehe, and she gave me three assignments! Yay magkakapera (

sana

) ulit ako! Kaso, di pa dumadating sakin yung pera, ni hindi ko pa nga napagtratrabahuhan yung pera eh pinagkakagastusan ko na. Yak!

Sana

lang ung 2 ko pang ibang writing raket ay magbigay pa rin ng assignment saken, huhuhu nauubusan na ko ng pera.

The Nerve of that Guy

So, its time to talk about the friggin title, wahehehhe, bad trip, there was this guy who messaged me here @ friendster, and I just read his message, ahm check him out daw, yung profile nya etc. Wala daw syang picture kasi di nya gustong ipakita, not because he’s married or anything (guilty!) ayokong ilagay ung message nya baka masyado syang madown, anyways, nagpapa-ad sa friendster and all that, all of this in not so grammatically correct English. (yak mangmata daw ba, pasensya na as I said I’m back to my old self) so ok, wla akong magawang iba I take a look at his profile, baka nagpapaintellectual type lang, pasikat, anyway ok lang tignan ang profile ni Lolo.

And then ang profile ng lolo mo, mahilig daw sya sa SEX, (yuck noh! : take note ang YAK ay expression ko, ang YUCK ay expression ko for grossness) interested daw syang mameet ang mga taong interested makipag SEB, waaaaa, mukha ba akong hooker?! I think noT! The nerve of that guy.

hehehe kala nyo kung ano noh?

On Loneliness (the part that actually relates to the title)

A friend of mine posted something on loneliness, and I think I can relate, she was saying something about, being surrounded with friends, but still being lonely, she even used the metaphor or a girl crying because she was thirsty.

Main point, irony. I can actually relate, I even gave her a few snippets of advice, things that doesn’t work on me anymore, it used to but it doesn’t anymore.

Have you ever experienced the feeling of hopeless loneliness? I don’t think that’s what I;m feeling, yet, but it looks like I’m getting there You know, when you’re with friends you laugh like there’s no tomorrow, as if the day was o great, as if it was the greatest day you ever had, you have fun, play cards, talk about senseless stuff, especially these days when its raining, masarap magreminisce, ala Nescafe commercials.

You’re there with friends

You laugh and enjoy yourself

Or so you think

Everything is perfect

The way the rain falls

The way the leaves are green

Even the way the jokes we’re said

But at the end of the day

you lie in bed

you contemplate on the things you’ve done

the things you’ve accomplished

then a dark shroud just comes down on you

like whatever happened earlier hasn’t been

whatever thing that compelled you to laugh earlier

was just a joke

a slice of imagination that was

you acknowledge it

pray for a better tomorrow

and the next day

you do it all over again

all in hope that one night

that shroud would finally leave you be

The above was supposed to be a paragraph, but I thought it’d look better as a poem.

Says exactly how I feel. Haaaay

It’s raining again, and unfortunately, like yesterday, I won’t be able to buy my newest food fad, puto-bungbong, I really love that stuff, it’s those violet rice strips topped with margarine, sugar and niyog. And I’m getting pretty hungry, my parents are in a kind of health fringe lately, you’d think somebody was pregnant or sick  from the food that my parents have been making me eat these days, dinner, which is the only meal I eat at home, almost always consists of either fish or vegetables, WHERE IS THE MEAT!!!! I’m a friggin carnivore!!!!

Well so I took to eating less healthy foods, like for example the isaw that our neighbor sells, or the puto-bungbong that sells a few blocks away, or the fish-balls and kikiam that sells just beside the isaw stand. Yes our neighborhood is full of those small kiosks; we have daily schedules ng mga maglalako, which includes mangga, scrambol, fish-ball, popcorn, taho, binatog, puto, biko, pichi-pichi, daing, sometimes even fruits and fresh fish, hehehe.

Well, so as I was looking at dinner today, its ampalaya omelet, ick! There is a lot of MEAT in the fridge mom, cook it! Haaaaay, I must look pregnant or something, I’ve been putting on a lot of weight, a co-app at ALCHEMES said to me earlier that I’m looking fat, huhuhu. Well maybe my parents saw me chowing down on those chocolates during my Chocolate craving binge last week. Wehehehe, now its puto-bungbong.

So I’m hungry and I took to writing an entry in this here blog of mine, on my sisters internet car mind you, I’m not in the mood to buy my own yet, hehehe, anyways she left the password saved, so that must mean its ok for everyone to use right? Right? Heheheh

Tomorrow’s my formal interview, I’m having the double somersaulting butterflies in my stomach again, and actually it feels more like it’s made of lead, ick. Ugggh how am I gonna get through this when I have a serious case of stage fright, yeah, I shiver when I’m in front of a crowd, no matter how small, especially if I know I’m on the hot seat, and tomorrow’s interview is going to be sort of like a job interview, and somebody told me I gotta know about current affairs and stuff, which I have no idea about, ick. I wish I’d get through this with my pride intact.

Oh did I mention PokSoc? It’s a sort of unofficial Poker society inside ALCHEMES, and although I’m just an applicant, I’m already a member of PokSoc, yahehehheh, we actually have licenses to play official sessions, when you play for a license upgrade, although I don’t know what you’ll get if you have a high license. The licenses are actually cards, and have the same hierarchy as poker cards, and today, I went form a ten of hearts to a five of clubs… Ick! Pathetic! Anyway I vow to get it back! Bwahahah, I shall get it back, somehow, some way.

Any, I gotta go and freshen up on member names; I always say the middle name instead of the last name, ick! I hope I don’t do that tomorrow.

Whoa less than 550 words, on this entry, I must be losing my touch.

Oh my GOd! After 3 and a half years of wearing railroad tracks on my teeth, Its finally come to a point where I get to have them removed! Not that its a yay! my teeth still need a bit of work, so I’d still have to wear retainers. But that’s not until monday night.

I’d have to go to school monday without braces, I kinda feel naked wihtout them, heheheheh, and it feels funny too, like my mouth is a few centimeters smaller.

Kaso as I said, di pa nga tapos, meron kasing mga stubborn na teeth na gumalaw after ma-lock nung braces, naalis kasi ung ibang brackets. Sad. Oh well, will have to deal with it plus all the other things I’d have to do.

Oh by the way, I saw how a Pontiac G6 on the Oprah Winfrey show,, its now my Dream CAr, goodbye  Mitsubishi Eclipse! Wahahaha As if naman, pramis pag yumaman ako, After buying my own House, I’ll by my own car, siguro mga 10-15 yrs pa. Hehehehe

Reply sa mga comments

ULET

To V.A.

OO naman remember pa kita, I thinhk nakita na kita (sa wakas) sa UP! WAhehehehe
Pinipilit nga pala nameng mag Ms. Engg si Zamo, kaso ayaw daw nyang magahit ng goatee nya.

To SHeng

Todo heheheh, naniwala ang lola mo! Heheheh matagal na yang short story ko na yan, medjo a bit of every traumatic thing that happened to me in UP is there.

AS for sa jogging, tatawagan kita mamaya (as in pagkatapos kong ipost to so pag nabasa mo to natawagan na kita nyahehehe) jogging tau bukas ng umaga!

Ung Solar power, College ko na naimbento un eh.

As for sa Pics sa Habitat for Humanity, nasa isang mem ung pics eh, ti2gnan ko kung mahihingi ko.

in fairness sheng Macomment ka, thanks sa pagbasa ng blog ko, nakakatuwa ka namn, ung pasalubong ko pagpunta mo ng Rome ha! Chaka kung kaya mo ikuha mo ko ng isang puting buhok ni Pope! Okaya isang Kandila dun sa St. Peter’s Basilica! Nyahahahhaha

This is a short story I wrote as a character building (which turned out to be a setting centered) exercise for creative writing class last summer of 2005, it’s tile is ZzZZzZzZZZ

ZzZzZZz
Maureen Hernandez

It’s Wednesday afternoon on exam week, I still have five more exams to take, and half my energy is wasted on the bus ride home. I don’t know why it’s so tiring, maybe because of the people all cramped in such a small space, or the three-seater which actually only seats two and a half, or maybe the oven-like feel of an air conditioned bus during March, but one thing’s for sure, there will always be either a woman who refuses to move further into the seat, or another person falling asleep beside you snoring or ending up resting his/her head on your shoulders. All of this and yet, I endure it, all in the name of “Education”.

I don’t know why my mom refuses to let me live in a boarding house or in a dorm. The beginning of this first semester of freshman year, I almost knelt in front of her to allow me to stay in a dorm, but my paranoid mom would insist, “No, you study at school, but you sleep at home.” So my travel time (total) is three to four hours, a majority of that spent inside a cramped bus. It upsets me because the times I spend traveling, are times when I could be sleeping or studying or playing computer games, but nooooo, my mom won’t have that.

So from school I go to EDSA, where I wait for a bus with a hundred or so people. It’s already

five o’clock

, rush hour, and buses as they are, are hard to come by, especially the bus I get on, which has a route of UE-Letre. After 30 minutes of standing there, cradling my three-kilogram book, looking at people scrambling towards the two and a half foot wide bus door, or taking the ordinary bus instead, I knew that “No, I am not doing that.” Maybe on other days I will scramble, shove, or maybe even step on somebody’s foot, just to get on a bus that I know I’ll end up standing in., but not today, today I finished three almost consecutive major exams, and I expect to spend the 45 minute bus ride sleeping. It beats not sleeping at all, something that I’ll probably do once I get home.

After another 30 minutes, its getting really dark, so against my better judgment, I decide to pursue a different route, I’ll ride a bus to Monumento, and then I’ll take a jeep to Sangandaan, its easier to find a bus going to Monumento, because almost all of the busses passing through EDSA ends up somewhere there. Just then I saw a heavenly sight, an empty (except for about 10 people) bus, with route Monumento -Malanday, I uttered a silent “Thank you Lord” and went on, I sat on the two-seater side and cuddled up to get at least 15 minutes of shut eye.

I passed all my exams, and was about to graduate, I really don’t know why I’m graduating at first year, but hey, that’s fine with me. And as my mom and dad approach me and pat me on the shoulders, my dad says “Miss, gising na dulo na to.” By the time I realize where I really was, it dawned on me, what “Miss, gising na, dulo na to” meant. I overslept. Before I could stop myself, the words,’ “Pero mama, Monumento lang ako”, came out of my mouth. So this guy with all the nerve in the world, had the guts to say “Ah ganun ba miss? Edi kulang ka pa ng sampung piso”, I rolled my eyes and reached for my purse, and realized that, its not there, panic, then distress then “Asan na yung bag ko!?”, then gut guy goes “Ayan kasi tulog ng tulog, sige ok na yung sampung piso mo, baba ka na gagarahe na kami.”
I exited the bus, as if in slow motion, I thought, my readings, my ID, my wallet, my cell phone, the pictures, and finally, where the heck am I?!. “sigh, I am so, lost” At least I still have my three-kilogram book, maybe the guy who took my purse thought it was too heavy.

I walked around looking for something familiar, a recognizable face, anything. I don’t know what time it is, but from the looks of it, it looks like its pretty late, because I already hear the tele-novela theme songs, wafting from the houses that I pass. I was almost into tears, what will I do? Where will I go? How the heck will I ever get home?

I walked a few more steps, and another heavenly sight dawned on me, or maybe it was the headlights, but anyway, it was a white taxi. A taxi, that’s it! I’ll ride a taxi and have it take me home and make my parents pay for the fare, that’s it! Another, thank you Lord, and I hailed the taxi. I told the driver, “

, west, dulo po,

Caloocan

” he nodded and I got in. The aircon, the velvet seats, even the sickly sweet smell of the taxi was more than welcome. I wasn’t lost after all.

Sitting there, as the incidents of the day faded off into the lights of Malanday, (wherever that is) I thought, maybe my day wasn’t so bad, At least I can study for the Physics exam tomorrow, I’ll just borrow my classmate’s readings and photocopy them for the exam on Friday, at least my mom will finally buy me a new cell phone, and maybe, she’ll realize how dangerous it is for me to be going home from school instead of just boarding. Yeah, God will positively open a window on this closed door. Inside the dark interior of the taxi cab, I started to read the signs on the street, Labandera, Aqua Best, Konica, Jollibee… ZzZzZZz.

* this is a fiction piece